Music and Life

I spend all my life thinking about life. I wonder. I ponder.

Life is like the animation ‘music and life’. The message I took from the short animation is to enjoy life while you can, not just striving for the end. You never know when the music stops. The enjoyment of the music (or as I term it ‘happiness’) is what really matters. Everything in life is a quest for happiness.

We often hear expressions like "the journey is its own reward", yet most of us tend to live jumping from one achievement to the next. We often think that everything will be so much better when we graduate, get a job, get a raise, buy our own house, get married, pay off our car, start our own business, make x dollars, or retire. We talk about living for the moment, yet remain focused on the next accomplishment, purchase or life milestone. We probably achieved all the things we wanted 10 years ago, but we are still in the same place.

Instead of looking for the next mountain to climb or goal to cross off your bucket list, how about just enjoying what you are doing now?

You have to accept the universe and everything in your life as it is. Your wanting self will go away and you will be happy. There is nothing you have to get, do, or be to be happy. Invest in the process for our goals, not the outcome as the outcome is only there to give direction.

I believe you enjoy life through doing what you like and liking what you do. I have a theory that you subconsciously like what you are doing, otherwise, you won’t be doing it. This forces you to think about what you are doing. It makes you question why you are doing what you are doing* and hence think about the decisions and actions to maximise your utility.

* The question is 'why'. Why am I working? Why do I want to amass money? Why am I getting out of bed? Why am I doing this when there is not a compelling reason to do it? Why am I chasing these goals I have set for myself?

Stuck

The last couple of weeks have been extremely trying for me.

I felt stuck with no way out. I knew where I wanted to go but when I was immersed in the situation, it felt too hard to get out from. All this was negatively affecting my well being and was causing my happiness levels to go backwards.

The demotion in my job, the failed leads in my career, the stagnating business, the broken relationships, the friends who left me. I was not getting anywhere and despite my knowledge and conniving I was not finding a way out. Added to that, all my time was caught up in this misery that gave way to more misery creating a vicious hurt cycle.

I was way too caught up on the problems and how bad the situation was and I was spending all my time on the continuing stream of work I had that I pushed what mattered to the side. I thought I was too good to take care of my wellbeing, that I didn't need it, that once I fixed my problems then I can focus on happiness. I was wrong.

Instead, I felt down and couldn't concentrate on my work, my business, my life. I was stressed out, started losing my hair, and not socialising.

I am lucky I realised this early and that I have this resource to draw upon. I remembered some happiness lessons and put them into practice. I was not following my own writings captured in this blog.

Addiction

The process of addiction can be good or bad. It can be good if it aligns with your purpose, but in many cases it can be harmful. Addiction can come in many forms. We may associate addiction with drugs, fast food, television, sex, work, money, status, power, beauty, motivational literature, meetings, news and the media, and the people around us, with these addictions common for people all walks of life. In recent times, virtual reality addiction is becoming increasingly prevalent, including addiction to the internet, email, games, pornography and gambling.

The addiction to virtual reality is more becoming commonplace with the widespread use of technology and devices like smartphones that keep us connected at all times. A side effect of social media is an increase in egocentric behaviour.

The addiction to money is pervasive in today's society. It is related to the addiction to work because it becomes stronger if you are immersed in your work on a daily basis. It is common to want a higher (or even two times your) salary, even though the value added after tax is minimal. The addiction never ends, no matter how rich you are. There is never enough.

The addiction to work is becoming just as common. It creeps up over time. Each year that goes by, slight modifications become the new normal. The boundaries between work and life slip away until all you have left is work.

The addiction to gambling is endemic. Everywhere you turn, you see gambling stores and advertising. It manifests itself in sports betting, casino, and day trading. The odds are heavily stacked against you. For trading, the broker charges commissions, spreads, daily interest charges, and dividend charges. The end result is that 85% of traders lose (or break even) over a three year or greater period [1] [2] [3]. In addition, there is the lost opportunity cost, which in many ways outweighs the financial losses.

As an example, my mum always warned me against playing with shares and how it was like gambling. I never listened. It became gambling for me. I fell into the trap of gambling. I had a gambling problem when I was younger when I played games and I said I would stop but I did not stop. I wasted thousands of hours trading the markets for a total loss of $45k over seven years until I quit in July 2016. The broker charges actually exceeded my total loss, which meant that I would have made a small profit if there were no broker charges. I will use my time for what makes me happy instead.

Addiction becomes worship. It is something you gradually slip into day after day, without being aware of it. If you worship money, you will never have enough. If you worship beauty, you will always feel ugly. If you worship power, you feel weak and afraid. If you worship intellect, you feel stupid and on the verge of being found out.

People who are addicted allow their additions to define who they are. They are defined by the money they have, the job they are in, their physical appearance, or whatever form their addition takes.

These addictions can act as a distraction to who you really are and what you really want to do. Similar to procrastination, time just passes you by and if you do eventually wake up, you are faced with the reality of your life situation. You realise it when you still have the same problems but have done nothing about them or if you see that your life has passed by in a blur but not in a way you truly wanted it to go. In effect, you may have wasted your life. In situations like these, the addiction can be detrimental. To counter this addiction, it is appropriate to set boundaries so you can focus on really matters.

My trading addiction killed me in 2019-21.

My news addiction is harming me. A recent study found that people with an obsessive urge to constantly check the news are more likely to suffer from stress, anxiety, as well as physical ill health [1] [2].

Study of Communication

Over the ages there have been many models developed on communication.

To summarise a few, communication must achieve an effect by considering the source, message, channel and receiver. It is assisted by overlapping experiences and membership in primary groups but semantic noise can act as a barrier.

Successful communication depends upon the receiver. As a communications source, we can spend a lot of time preparing messages and in selecting channels, but if the receiver doesn't get the message, we haven't communicated.

It is as Aristotle said 300 years before the birth of Christ: "For of the three elements in speech-making — speaker, subject, and person addressed — it is the last one, the hearer, that determines the speech's end and object."

Actions speak louder than words. It is worth reminding that communication is 7% verbal (words used), 38% vocal (tone of voice), and 55% visual (body language). Note that the rule applies where a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes.

Speeches are an important aspect of communication. Great speeches work because they capture at least one of the following elements: they seize the moment, they employ stylish language, they project their speaker's good character, they rouse our emotions, and they use evidence wisely and dramatically to make their case. A great speech should challenge the audience and encourage them to think anew. The speaker should show belief, intelligence, and use concrete language.