Be

Why don't I let myself be happy?

Why don't I spend each day doing the 80% of things that make me happy?

I get caught up in excuses. There is no excuse.

Happiness is what life is about.

I need to be content with myself. I don't need a lady. I don't need another person. I don't need to achieve a goal.

I compiled a list of things I was unhappy about in a day and discovered that most of it was due to a dependency on others or external events, such as girls not responding, movements in share prices, managers not providing recognition for good work, increased business fees, and stepping in a puddle.

During the Happiness Year I recorded 25 happy to 2 sad faced days. This is a pretty good result. I achieved the ratio of happy of sad days of my goal, although I was after twice as many happy days.

The two months since I returned to work were one of the saddest of periods of my life. During this time I recorded 1 happy to 6 sad face days. It was through this difficult period that I discovered that one must become free of the ego as spelled out in Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.

I must allow myself to be happy.

The Paradox

Want: At church we are taught to ask in prayer creating an unconscious cycle of want. Not everything we want is good for us.

Easy: Most people do what is easy as opposed to what really brings them joy or makes them become an expert. Results that come easy generally do not provide a sense of accomplishment.

Greed: Greed can put everything you have earned at stake as it causes you to make trades with relatively small payoffs compared to the amount at risk.

Unemployment: The loss of a job can burst the bubble of financial security and hurt your self worth, but it can open up new opportunities.

Legality: Short term gain or pleasure may lead to punishment or prison.

Status: The hunger for status can drive us to achieve, but it can also lead to anxiety and restlessness.

Ego: Masks may be comforting and they protect the ego, however they reveal a lack of self-acceptance.

Goals: Goals give you a target to aim for, however, they set limits and perpetuates want and frustration. Living without goals is liberating and allows you to explore new territory.

Success: Achieving a goal brings satisfaction, but it is fleeting. Some seek ever-escalating accomplishments, but although the success may be worthwhile, achievements do not bring lasting happiness.

Failure: Taken correctly, failure can drive you to act, or it could plunge you into misery.

Prosperity: Prosperity is a goal of many, but without purpose it can lead to disillusion and emptiness.

Optimism: Humans have an optimism bias that overestimates the likelihood of good things and underestimates bad things, although people who are optimists live longer, are healthier and happier.

Emotion: There is an inverse relationship between emotion and thinking, it is not wise to make decisions when you are highly emotional.

Contagion: Humans are like sheep, even if you are strong willed you can be unknowingly manipulated; a group's performance is shown to be affected by emotions and actions from an outsider

Mental health: Often ignored, but it is becoming problematic in the modern world as evidenced by a ten fold increase in major depression in the last half century.

Hype: It is easy to get caught up in the excitement when gathered around people dreaming big, but you have to stay grounded and understand the realities of such endeavours.

Fame: Recognition is a fickle substance that can become a drug and lead many into the trap of under-performance.

Beauty: Incessant focus on beauty and pursuit of the perfect body breeds vanity and insecurity, for an ideal that fades away with time.

Intelligence: It pays to be intelligent and the intelligent are more likely to succeed, but a life devoted to intelligence alone is self-destructive and gives rise to snobbery.

Prediction: One who predicts does not have knowledge, but one has to be cognisant of the inputs and factors behind a prediction.

Preconceptions: One may have deep seated ideologies based on one's upbringing and experience which may limit what they believe to be possible, however these may be different to the reality that another experiences.

Tragedy: Tragic events can be very painful in the now, but they may jolt you into becoming a better person or taking a different path in the future that may not have otherwise been the case.

Death: The great equaliser, there is no certainty around how, when, or what follows, only that it will occur; for some painful, for some peaceful, unique to each individual.

Meaning: Thinking beyond the present moment into the past or future and doing things that reflect and express the self are signs of the meaningful life, however, they may be irrelevant or detrimental to happiness.