Internal Struggle

This time. Sometimes.

It always creeps up.

I fight a battle against myself. An internal battle. Mind wars. It is a struggle. Never perfected. Opening up in public. Patience. Self belief. Ambition. These are qualities that are not inbred in me. Instead, they must be cultivated.

I struggle against my lack of energy. I struggle against fear of failure. I struggle with the golden rule. To love others as myself. I don't love myself enough. I don't love others enough. I feel inadequate sometimes. I place some people ahead of others. I am impatient far too often. Vicious, destructive, painful thoughts. Thoughts which don't help me or others at all.

I tell myself constantly to know and accept myself. I tell myself to treat everyone as a volunteer. I tell myself to be indifferent to negativity, to not care so much. I remind myself of motivational quotes. I push myself to go for growth.

Yet, always, it is difficult.

Nothing in Particular

Some of the best discourse I have heard are about trivial matters. Whilst non-substantive, they can provoke thought.

• Society's increasing insensitivity towards extremes. 
• Poetry's subtle germination of unrelated visualisations.
• Predisposed human nature such as self-bias and risk aversion. 
• The rise of misguided political correctness. 
• The beauty of nature exhibited on a quiet dusk sky. 
• Questioning why such as why is there a tree or why the lack of divine happenings in recent history. 
• Food being disaggregated into ever-smaller nutritional components to design for an individual's genetic makeup. 
• The never ending quest to break previously set records.
• Rise of political correctness
• Struggles of travel (starving at time, unhealthy meals, waking up early, crappy tourist sites, carrying luggage around)
• Frequencies in the body that may lead to illness, softening in the body of hard areas