Rethinking Aid

I recently watched a thought provoking video showing the strong correlation between countries with high GDP and low child mortality rates. This would suggest that one method to assist developing countries is improving infant health.

Solving the aid dilemma is not easy. There are many options. Money to fund research into disease prevention, loans to small businesses, creation of new schools, diplomacy to influence government policy. But which is the best option?

The best option is to align with what is best for the people.  It may not be purely economic or exactly what the people ask for.  At the heart of it, the aim is to eliminate poverty, satisfying their physiological needs, so that people can provide for themselves and that is good enough.

Nations that have managed to lift themselves out of poverty have done so mostly with trade, not aid - with giving people jobs and a ladder, not handouts and an elevator. There is no proof that aid drives economic growth, however health-related aid and aid in the aftermath of a disaster do saves lives. It is most effective to help people help themselves through education, learning to make a living and save, by helping people find their own ways to support their families while having the essential services to provide for the basic needs. 

Bettering Personal Bests

My results are all that I can control.

I know that if I achieve a certain result, then I will probably win.

This is how an elite athlete or swimmer thinks.

Their race is all they can control and focus on. When they achieve a certain time, they know that they will probably win. It does not matter what other people do.

So go out there and better your personal bests.

Mindset

Your mind is your most important asset.

Your mind dictates the reality you live in.

It has the capacity to affect everything you believe possible and it can be trained to improve yourself in all areas of your life.

The way you think determines the direction of your life. Everyone sees the same situation from different perspectives. The way you see and hence approach the situation (or in other words having the right mindset leading to taking responsibility) greatly influences your outcome.

You have to be aware of how your mind works. Sometimes, your mind acts counterproductive to your purpose. This can occur when you want to do something you want but your ego is stopping you, when you place undeserved value on others, let emotion dictate your thinking, lose sight of morals, become too pompous, become conditioned, let time erode significance, misinterpret human interaction or overanalyse.

Self-esteem is more important than any education you can receive. I know some of my best high school friends, some of whom are well educated are in bad depressed states. The common theme is missing self-esteem.

Mindset is greatly affected by habit, belief, environment, superstition, and mental illness. Take superstition for example, which can control people's lives, through the belief that certain numbers, events or objects bring good or bad luck, even though it may not be so.

The only thing we do have control over is our own thoughts and beliefs, if we choose to exercise control.

My Prayer

Dear God,

I don't know what to believe anymore.

I guess the job rejection was the tipping point. I prayed long and hard for a request that meant so much to me. This was the one job I really wanted. I put so much faith and belief into my prayers. I gave it my heart, soul and mind. Upon hearing that I was rejected, I felt shattered and hurt. My faith took a dive. I had put up with so many rejections already, and to miss out again by the slimmest of margins after I had given it so much effort in prayer and practice made it all the worse.

I rarely asked for anything this year. All I really asked for was to know you better. Many times I prayed 'Lord, just show me who you are'. But I have not received a response. I asked 'God, if I am doing something wrong, please let me know'. But I hear nothing. I have asked God for many requests in the past. But they have gone unanswered. It seems like there is no one even listening. I hear stories of other people receiving God's help in good times and times of need. But not I.

The times that my prayers have gone unanswered calls my faith into question. Sure, there have been some prayers answered. However, the things that meant the most to me, the things that I devoted the most time and effort to have eluded me. That is what hurts the most. More than the failed outcomes themselves.

I want to know you are out there God, and that you care about me. I know I am not the best person, but I try to do what is right. I want to know who you are and that you are willing to help. But it is hard to believe when my prayers go unanswered. No matter what happens I will still have some faith (re: The Search for Truth). I want to believe.

Until the true God reveals himself to me I will believe passively and may search for God through alternative means.

As I type this I feel calm and peace spreading through me. I have, to a degree, let go of the hurt and pain associated with the prayers unanswered in the past. I now wait in hope and seek for the true God who loves me and hears me.

God, please answer me.

Update (12/2/10): After another failed interview process and going through a similar process to the one described above, I find myself unsure about religion, not knowing who to turn to or trust. I don't see or hear any answers from God (I accept that a ultimatum may be testing God). I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Update (21/5/10): After discussions with religious and non-religious individuals I have the following points to take away:

• Accept and follow God’s will for our lives (and ask to know God’s will and for His wisdom). "nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou [wilt]." (not in bondage to a religion)
• Follow God's Word in order to change our destiny not the "now" (God cannot be used to fulfil our wishes).
• Release our wants and trust in God (faith). Be patient and seek God wholeheartedly (praising Him).
• Focus on myself. Many of the answers I seek are in me.

The two most important things for me are to 1) know God exists (creation/other people is not enough), and 2) have a relationship with God.

When You Are Feeling Down

I have been very volatile lately. I go from a moment of disarray to absolute ecstasy in the same day. Overall, my average level of satisfaction has probably declined.

I know things have been difficult this year. The thing is I cannot let this turn me away from my purpose. My purpose is what guides me. My purpose is what I live for. I cannot put my enjoyment on hold.

I know is that I can either look back, bemoan what has happened and feel defeated. Or I can rise up, follow my purpose (direction) and go for what I want.

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When you face difficult times like these or when you have free time on your hands it is useful to:

• think back to your purpose;
• meditate and visualise achievement of goals;
• review what you know or have you have learnt;
• write down what you are thinking;
• challenge and question negative thoughts;
• talk to yourself to clear the issues in your head;
• talk to others and reach out to those who might help;
• take a break to allow yourself to refresh and regenerate;
• breathe deeply, relax muscles and meditate;
• walk around and get moving;
• healthy eating, exercise regularly, get enough sleep;
• listen to the sound of waves crashing against the shore or some music;
• sing a song;
• accept uncertainty and accept worst case outcome and take action to improve from it;
• postpone worry to a worry period by writing worries down;
• take action to address the situation or keep busy and distract yourself;
• count your blessings and be thankful for what you have, enjoy the moment.

The Mental Health Council also recommends the following tips for improving wellbeing: taking up a hobby, treating yourself, sharing experiences, being attentive, helping others, thinking positively, expressing yourself and setting personal goals.

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Update (25/1/11):

When in a bad mood, take a step back and think about the situation before that led to it, what is happening now and later, engage in positive appreciative enquiry, and be a man.

By taking a step back and observing the situation, you see what you doing and realise that every negative (and positive) feeling is a direct result of thought.

Decide to welcome your thoughts and worries rather than feeling anxious about them. Dispute your beliefs and risks because these are simply your thoughts. Instead think about what you can do about them. Focus on what you can do now, not on the past or the future.

You may have no control whatsoever over circumstance, but you can be immune to the adverse effects of your thinking about it, once you understand that you think "thoughts," not "reality." Your thoughts, not your circumstances, determine how you feel. An absence of negative thought brings forth a positive feeling.

So Close But Yet So Far

I admit. I have always had difficulties with interviews. This time though I thought it was different. There were two reasons to this.

Firstly, I wanted to prove that I am capable and that I can succeed in interviews. After all, I believe that I have the skills , knowledge and experience for a better position. Secondly, I wanted to prove that the system works. That is the system of faith and conviction, setting targets, winning the next point works. Plus, I combined it with basic practice practice practice, talking to friends and insiders, warm ups, being out of my head, reading and listening to motivational material (e.g. 'if your heart filled with faith then you can't fear', 'I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me').

To me, interviews are an essential life skill. Interviews are all about marketing yourself. To get to the top of the corporate food chain, you have to do this well. In fact, managers must enjoy interviews because they have to go through so many to get where they are. Managers also enjoy their jobs, but that is another topic altogether.

In the end, I came close. I applied for the job. Interviewed very well. Received praise from the interviewers. However, I just missed out by one question. Second place is last place though. I feel that my faith has been weakened. I guess I can be proud of my achievement, but at the same time it hurts to get knocked back when I was so close.

Now, I have to think about my next steps. I have defined my motivation or passion for wanting a better position. I have a vision of where I want to be to motivate me. I will go for the job with the same strong mindset and practice more.