New World

As we see out the final day of 2009 and enter 2010, one decade closes and another one begins.

Figuratively, I see the new year as a new beginning. A chance to wipe the slate clean and start anew.

This will be a fresh start for me. There were many things I was holding on to, but I know that now I have to accept what has happened and move on. (Is accepting the missing ingredient for lasting peace? (re: Drilling) It has been a depressing past year in some respects. It has been an inner battle. I know that there is nothing I can do to change the past. I know that a feel good activity won't fix my state of mind.) Accept the past. Go forward in my life. Make the future the best it can be. Now.

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Two days before the new year I came to the understanding that God loves me.

I have thought about God and religion a fair bit over the last year. I will say that I believe that God is with me and that God loves me. After all, I am searching for and open to God, I try to do what is right and I help others by volunteering. I know I can improve but essentially I think I am a good, nice and just person. Plus, I received a leaflet that says 'God loves you!'.

Two days after the new year I rediscovered domination.

During a game of Wacky Wheels I rediscovered what it felt like to have the burning drive to dominate others. This mentality had been missing after a sapping period when things that could go wrong did go wrong. I believe that the desire to completely dominate benefits me. It empowers me to win point after point after point. It motivates me to focus on winning with unrelenting, overwhelming force.