It Wasn't Meant To Be Like This

I never envisaged this is the way things were to turn out.

I always looked for a way out at university. A way out of doing the study but still achieving the results at the end. I mocked those who put in large amounts of effort because I thought it was a waste of time.

Now, I am in that place. I spend my life, five days of it, toiling for a weekly wage. I ask myself why I am a slave to money. It is not the most enjoyable pursuit. Chasing a pot of gold at the end that is never reached.

I had studied hard to get into university. I remember thinking to myself I will never work this hard again. It is time to reap the fruits of my labour.

But it was not meant to be. I spent university toiling for a degree I did not want. Endless hours perfecting that assignment, reinforcing that concept into my brain. I thought once I land a job, this is it. Now I can live the life.

Now I discover that this job thing is not what I thought it was. Instead, most people are striving to get that promotion. That little extra bit of dollar. So they can put in more hours into work to try for another promotion. But for what? What is the goal? Not only that, but work is tiresome. I can feel it wearing me out. Now I find myself looking for a way out.

But then what alternative is there if I am not working? I know that, in many cases, not working is not enjoyable too because of the increased risk of isolation, laziness and wasting time on the meaningless. It has to be asked what are good alternatives to work. What is the perfect day (or variations of it) you can live everyday of your life?

I had imagined myself living it up. 5 star resorts. Partying in Ibiza. Visiting remote parts of the world. Helping poor communities. Straight from the excitement of those old Lonely Planet tv shows.

It was not meant to be like this.