To experience joy, I need to change my inner self, change my mindset and heal my heart. I understand that the way I approach life and the way I live has to change. Tara Brach taught me that everything has to be centred on joy and happiness.
Nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had. All goals to do with accomplishment are peripheral.
Happiness is a state of being, not a state of doing. I make a decision to be happy regardless of whatever happens. This is the most beautiful decision I can make. I commit and I decide to be happy every single day regardless of whatever happens.
Give up your problems
To be happy, you have to give up the need to be this, or to have that. You have to give up excuses where you say I am not happy because of this. No person or object can make you happy. Nothing can give you happiness except yourself. There may be challenges that you say make you unhappy but it is your decision to be unhappy. All these challenges are temporary and will pass and within a challenge may lie a gift.
"Not good enough yet. Got to have more. Got to make it better. Got to be better." The direct result of all this lunacy is a perpetual treadmill race to nowhere, endlessly pounding after pleasure, endlessly fleeing from pain, endlessly ignoring 90 percent of our experience. Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within. The very thing that gives you pleasure today will give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you and give you pain. As soon as you grasp anything, pain inevitably follows.
Many people say 'if only' I have this or that, then I will be happy. 'If only' doesn't work for happiness. When pursuing it, you are not in the present moment. There is an undercurrent of dissatisfaction because right now is not ok, and you are separated from true happiness. Shifting from life being a certain way to loving what is.
All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things and in the future. Attachment, chasing after something, is enemy of joy. You experience a deep suffering when you have to have something, similar to the feeling of addiction. Even a desire to become free or enlightened is just another craving for fulfillment or completion in the future. So don't seek to become free of desire or "achieve" enlightenment. Be present and observe the mind.
People approach life as a problem, something's missing or something's wrong, trying to make it through the day. Your life situation may be full of problems - most life situations are - but find out if you have any problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now. Do you have a problem now? Realise that there are no problems. Only situations - to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted. When you create a problem, you create pain. All it takes is a simple choice: no matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems.
People waste time and care about the wrong things year after year. As a matter of conscious experience, the reality of your life is always now. The past is a memory. The future is anticipated, a thought arising now. Hoping to be happy in the future but the future never arises. Always solving a problem. Enjoy your life in the present.
What is between you and happiness? Chronically wanting something else, thinking something's wrong, got to get something done, postponing life, being anxious.
Joy is not goal or money related. It is not related to externalities.
I never feel satisfied chasing goals. I never had any even small moments of true joy chasing money.
I realise that trading brings pain. I don't want to waste any more time not being happy (but yet I did and it brought immense pain in 2019-21).
My accomplishments have never brought me joy. I only had pleasure that was conditional to external outcomes and even these moments were few. My accomplishments never bring me the happiness that I want - happiness for no reason.
I know that nothing external that makes me happy brings me true happiness. Being with friends doesn't make me truly happy. I don't want to connect with everyone and there are many times when I am around family and friends, but I still feel a hole. Accumulating money certainly doesn't make me happy. Travelling doesn't solve the sadness I feel inside.
If you are dissatisfied with what you have got, that may motivate you to become rich, but even if you do make millions, you will continue to experience the inner condition of lack, and deep down you will continue to feel unfulfilled.
As long as the ego, a derived sense of self, is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease. You cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled. The ego needs to identify itself with external things such as work, possessions, money, education, relationships, appearance, politics, religion. None is these is you. Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" - and find that there is no death.
Once you achieve a goal, there's another goal. There is no limit for desires in human beings. A life searching for goals and dreams is endless as a source of suffering and frustration. People who live in the future don't experience the present, and then when they are dying they want to live. If you become excessively focused on a goal or destination, the now becomes reduced to a mere stepping stone to the future and life is no longer an adventure, just a need to 'make it'. If you develop such a mindset, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better, a perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction. Ultimately, every form is destined to dissolve and nothing out here matters all that much. Your outer journey may have a million steps, but your inner journey has one: the step you are taking right now. Ultimately, realise that every outer purpose is doomed to "fail" sooner or later, simply because it is subject to the law of impermanence of all things.
Many people seek happiness moment to moment, but find temporary relief and have fleeting pleasure. Their minds are always thinking what's next even after success. Focus on being happy before our desires are satisfied, and not contingent upon reiterating pleasures.
Nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had. All goals to do with accomplishment are peripheral.
Happiness is a state of being, not a state of doing. I make a decision to be happy regardless of whatever happens. This is the most beautiful decision I can make. I commit and I decide to be happy every single day regardless of whatever happens.
Give up your problems
To be happy, you have to give up the need to be this, or to have that. You have to give up excuses where you say I am not happy because of this. No person or object can make you happy. Nothing can give you happiness except yourself. There may be challenges that you say make you unhappy but it is your decision to be unhappy. All these challenges are temporary and will pass and within a challenge may lie a gift.
"Not good enough yet. Got to have more. Got to make it better. Got to be better." The direct result of all this lunacy is a perpetual treadmill race to nowhere, endlessly pounding after pleasure, endlessly fleeing from pain, endlessly ignoring 90 percent of our experience. Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within. The very thing that gives you pleasure today will give you pain tomorrow, or it will leave you and give you pain. As soon as you grasp anything, pain inevitably follows.
Many people say 'if only' I have this or that, then I will be happy. 'If only' doesn't work for happiness. When pursuing it, you are not in the present moment. There is an undercurrent of dissatisfaction because right now is not ok, and you are separated from true happiness. Shifting from life being a certain way to loving what is.
All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things and in the future. Attachment, chasing after something, is enemy of joy. You experience a deep suffering when you have to have something, similar to the feeling of addiction. Even a desire to become free or enlightened is just another craving for fulfillment or completion in the future. So don't seek to become free of desire or "achieve" enlightenment. Be present and observe the mind.
People waste time and care about the wrong things year after year. As a matter of conscious experience, the reality of your life is always now. The past is a memory. The future is anticipated, a thought arising now. Hoping to be happy in the future but the future never arises. Always solving a problem. Enjoy your life in the present.
What is between you and happiness? Chronically wanting something else, thinking something's wrong, got to get something done, postponing life, being anxious.
Joy is not goal or money related. It is not related to externalities.
I never feel satisfied chasing goals. I never had any even small moments of true joy chasing money.
I realise that trading brings pain. I don't want to waste any more time not being happy (but yet I did and it brought immense pain in 2019-21).
My accomplishments have never brought me joy. I only had pleasure that was conditional to external outcomes and even these moments were few. My accomplishments never bring me the happiness that I want - happiness for no reason.
I know that nothing external that makes me happy brings me true happiness. Being with friends doesn't make me truly happy. I don't want to connect with everyone and there are many times when I am around family and friends, but I still feel a hole. Accumulating money certainly doesn't make me happy. Travelling doesn't solve the sadness I feel inside.
If you are dissatisfied with what you have got, that may motivate you to become rich, but even if you do make millions, you will continue to experience the inner condition of lack, and deep down you will continue to feel unfulfilled.
As long as the ego, a derived sense of self, is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease. You cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled. The ego needs to identify itself with external things such as work, possessions, money, education, relationships, appearance, politics, religion. None is these is you. Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" - and find that there is no death.
Once you achieve a goal, there's another goal. There is no limit for desires in human beings. A life searching for goals and dreams is endless as a source of suffering and frustration. People who live in the future don't experience the present, and then when they are dying they want to live. If you become excessively focused on a goal or destination, the now becomes reduced to a mere stepping stone to the future and life is no longer an adventure, just a need to 'make it'. If you develop such a mindset, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better, a perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction. Ultimately, every form is destined to dissolve and nothing out here matters all that much. Your outer journey may have a million steps, but your inner journey has one: the step you are taking right now. Ultimately, realise that every outer purpose is doomed to "fail" sooner or later, simply because it is subject to the law of impermanence of all things.
Many people seek happiness moment to moment, but find temporary relief and have fleeting pleasure. Their minds are always thinking what's next even after success. Focus on being happy before our desires are satisfied, and not contingent upon reiterating pleasures.
In the decade to 2024 GDP per capita has increased while happiness has decreased, showing that happiness is not connected to material success.
The failure to recognise thought as thought and the identification with thought is a primary source of suffering. Let go of thought.
The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. Expectation that is greater than appreciation brings pain. All negativity is caused by a denial of the present. People who feel the most depressed are living in a self oriented world, which is a confined and painful state to be in. Surrender to what is. Accept - then act. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.
Accept everything about our inner and outer selves. Be aware of what’s occurring in our bodies and minds, without attempting to judge, control or resist the thoughts or feelings or sensations that we find there. When faced with troubling situations that we can’t control, the best way forward is to take a minute to pause. Focus on your physical sensations, recognise your emotions, and express what you are experiencing instead of pushing away negative experience. Only by accepting ourselves for who we are, and acknowledging our most painful experiences, can we begin to truly love ourselves and heal the parts of ourselves that are hurting.
When you act, drop the negativity first and give attention to the action itself. Do not be attached to the results. Neither your happiness nor your sense of self depends on the outcome as on a deeper level you are already complete.
Peace
Don't seek enlightenment. Just be present. [My mind is constantly projecting out into the future.]
The only goal is peace within. I am enough. My life is enough. [I have a never ending stream of thoughts during the daily commute. I have been told that I am sometimes too serious; I have to remember to laugh.]
Don't resist, deny, judge, want. Buddha taught that the root of suffering is to be found in our constant wanting. [I have been dissatisfied with work for so long. Not fully accepting. Resisting what is.]
Simple pleasures - appreciating. Space of presence. Walk slowly, smile. Enjoy the scenery when on a detour. Check in with your well being and values.
There is no need to stress. Stress is fear. There is no point to hold onto regrets. I don't get anything holding onto it, let it go.
Be in the present, slow down. Notice everything. Don't rush. From the heart not the head.
Peace is this moment without judgment. Be at peace with the moment however it is. Say yes to the changing moments, life being just as it is. Power of wholehearted acceptance. Any moment you can choose presence, to place in you that feels something's wrong. If there's something missing, go make it happen now. Acknowledge that what I have is enough. Love what is.
Love what is, say yes to what is, willing to be present to what is. Savour this moment. Don't aim for next moment to be different to this one. Make peace with our life, with difficulties, aliveness. We are pulling back a lot, feel unsafe to open to full aliveness, addicted to feeling something's wrong. Let myself be open to amazing possibility inherent in living. Failure to know joy is a reflection of the inability to forgive.
Agree to the life as it is. Appreciate this life and be open to happiness. In any moment that we love what is, the solid self dissolves and an opening to joy.
This is enough. Don't want it to be different, pause and acknowledge it. Live the life fully. Do not let your days slip through your fingers. On the day of death arrive with no regrets.
The human form turns to dust quickly, however, it is only tragic because you projected a separate self where there was none.
Be open to discomfort of being wrong and the unpleasantness when you make mistakes. Say yes to uncomfortableness. Put down your defense. Have no anxiety about being imperfect.
Presence, background of awareness, makes you notice the little things. We don't have to wait.
Be still and alert.
While I understand the importance of the present for happiness, I have a deep appreciation for the past and make allowance for the future.
The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. The Now is the most precious thing because it is the only thing. It's all there is. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now. Eckhart Tolle
Trust in the process, change things you can control. Watch what you consume - don't watch news as most news does not help you. Don't read what negative and poor people read.
Find a way to grow every day - doesn't have to be in every area, can be meeting family, can be something within.
Practice
Practice meditation. To meditate sit straight and motionless, close your eyes, share your loving-kindness with everybody, then take three deep breaths and feel yourself breathing into your abdomen. Focus your attention on the rims of your nostrils. Notice the feeling of breath going in and out. As soon as you notice that your mind is no longer on your breath, you may focus on the mental state or sensation, then mindfully bring it back to your breath. Grow in meditation through patience and acceptance.
Focus on the feeling of the inner energy field of the body, merge with the energy field. Before sleeping and first thing in the morning, focus your attention on different parts of the body and let you attention run through your body like a wave, meditate on pain. Whenever an answer or idea is needed, stop thinking for a moment by focusing attention on your inner energy field. When you resume thinking, it will be fresh and creative. Feel the inner body even when engaged in everyday activities and when engaged in relationships.
Serving - help others, immune system also improves, whatever happens it's part of loving and serving, belonging to something larger. Savouring - make each day as good as it can be, pause and take it all in, 10 breathes to savour it. Awareness of the mortality and impermanence, motivation to enjoy the moment. Connect with true sense of who we are.
Let go and find what is beautiful in each moment. Don't sweat the small stuff. Feel heart and feel how strong it is and think of things you are grateful for. The mind will never let you enjoy life.
Forgive and love. Forgiveness is to relinquish your grievance and offer no resistance to life, with the alternative being pain. Daily Happiness Exercises. Joy. Mindfulness and accepting what's here.
Loving kindness occurs naturally when you are present. Joy is rare, open up to the whole experience, aliveness, not hitched to conditions, unconditioned happiness. You cannot experience joy when living in thoughts. You are happier when you are busy. You are happier when your mind is not wandering.
Celebrate the mystery of the life we cherish. Joy wakes up when you express it. Happiness doesn't need anything.
Pray for myself and others. Pray for all beings to be happy. Contribute when you can such as giving time to a soup kitchen.
Put your hands on your heart. Feel your heart for two minutes and breath deep in your heart and recall a grateful memory.
Be exactly with what's here. Concentration helps quiet the mind, gets you familiar with calm. Intention to be happy, open to what's possible with wellbeing, wish it for myself and others,
-------------------------------
Stop pretending to be invincible and just go back to doing what you love. The effort to try to feel happy and trouble free and the notion that we must have everything are often the things that makes us miserable. The true path to contentment is to enjoy uncertainty, embrace insecurity and even learn to value death.
When you put yourself as the centre, you will not be happy. The day you realise that it's not about you is the day you start living. Serve others,
I have very high standards. It is a little unrealistic. I look for external things to bring me happiness. I should be more internally focused. I have tried many things and excelled in many areas, but they have not made me happy. Psychologically, I'm fine and I don't have many anxiety or stress symptoms.
If your goal is endless joy, it may not be attainable and you may end up disappointed. Endless happiness is not something to strive for. There is no such thing as a perfect life, a perfect partner, or the best job. It is a combination of accepting where you are and having what you want, but still aiming high. Expectations that don't match reality lead to unhappiness.
A whole spectrum of feelings is normal. You cannot get the highs if you don't have the lows. Anything meaningful is filled with both pleasure and pain. Spiritual goals are difficult to monitor and achieve; and they may not be something to aim for. Meaning in life may be good, but meaning is not necessary. It is fine not to have a purpose in life. Instead, enjoy what is happening each day, enjoy the small things in life and be mindful and sociable.
The failure to recognise thought as thought and the identification with thought is a primary source of suffering. Let go of thought.
The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. Expectation that is greater than appreciation brings pain. All negativity is caused by a denial of the present. People who feel the most depressed are living in a self oriented world, which is a confined and painful state to be in. Surrender to what is. Accept - then act. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.
Accept everything about our inner and outer selves. Be aware of what’s occurring in our bodies and minds, without attempting to judge, control or resist the thoughts or feelings or sensations that we find there. When faced with troubling situations that we can’t control, the best way forward is to take a minute to pause. Focus on your physical sensations, recognise your emotions, and express what you are experiencing instead of pushing away negative experience. Only by accepting ourselves for who we are, and acknowledging our most painful experiences, can we begin to truly love ourselves and heal the parts of ourselves that are hurting.
When you act, drop the negativity first and give attention to the action itself. Do not be attached to the results. Neither your happiness nor your sense of self depends on the outcome as on a deeper level you are already complete.
Peace
Don't seek enlightenment. Just be present. [My mind is constantly projecting out into the future.]
The only goal is peace within. I am enough. My life is enough. [I have a never ending stream of thoughts during the daily commute. I have been told that I am sometimes too serious; I have to remember to laugh.]
Don't resist, deny, judge, want. Buddha taught that the root of suffering is to be found in our constant wanting. [I have been dissatisfied with work for so long. Not fully accepting. Resisting what is.]
Simple pleasures - appreciating. Space of presence. Walk slowly, smile. Enjoy the scenery when on a detour. Check in with your well being and values.
There is no need to stress. Stress is fear. There is no point to hold onto regrets. I don't get anything holding onto it, let it go.
Be in the present, slow down. Notice everything. Don't rush. From the heart not the head.
Peace is this moment without judgment. Be at peace with the moment however it is. Say yes to the changing moments, life being just as it is. Power of wholehearted acceptance. Any moment you can choose presence, to place in you that feels something's wrong. If there's something missing, go make it happen now. Acknowledge that what I have is enough. Love what is.
Love what is, say yes to what is, willing to be present to what is. Savour this moment. Don't aim for next moment to be different to this one. Make peace with our life, with difficulties, aliveness. We are pulling back a lot, feel unsafe to open to full aliveness, addicted to feeling something's wrong. Let myself be open to amazing possibility inherent in living. Failure to know joy is a reflection of the inability to forgive.
Agree to the life as it is. Appreciate this life and be open to happiness. In any moment that we love what is, the solid self dissolves and an opening to joy.
This is enough. Don't want it to be different, pause and acknowledge it. Live the life fully. Do not let your days slip through your fingers. On the day of death arrive with no regrets.
The human form turns to dust quickly, however, it is only tragic because you projected a separate self where there was none.
Be open to discomfort of being wrong and the unpleasantness when you make mistakes. Say yes to uncomfortableness. Put down your defense. Have no anxiety about being imperfect.
Presence, background of awareness, makes you notice the little things. We don't have to wait.
Be still and alert.
While I understand the importance of the present for happiness, I have a deep appreciation for the past and make allowance for the future.
The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. The Now is the most precious thing because it is the only thing. It's all there is. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now. Eckhart Tolle
Trust in the process, change things you can control. Watch what you consume - don't watch news as most news does not help you. Don't read what negative and poor people read.
Find a way to grow every day - doesn't have to be in every area, can be meeting family, can be something within.
Practice
Practice meditation. To meditate sit straight and motionless, close your eyes, share your loving-kindness with everybody, then take three deep breaths and feel yourself breathing into your abdomen. Focus your attention on the rims of your nostrils. Notice the feeling of breath going in and out. As soon as you notice that your mind is no longer on your breath, you may focus on the mental state or sensation, then mindfully bring it back to your breath. Grow in meditation through patience and acceptance.
Focus on the feeling of the inner energy field of the body, merge with the energy field. Before sleeping and first thing in the morning, focus your attention on different parts of the body and let you attention run through your body like a wave, meditate on pain. Whenever an answer or idea is needed, stop thinking for a moment by focusing attention on your inner energy field. When you resume thinking, it will be fresh and creative. Feel the inner body even when engaged in everyday activities and when engaged in relationships.
Dis-identify from the mind by watching your thoughts and emotions, focusing your attention on the feelings inside you, or focusing your attention into the present moment. Don’t judge or analyze what you observe. Ask yourself "Am I at ease at this moment?"
Try a little experiment. Close your eyes and say to yourself: "I wonder what my next thought is going to be." Then become very alert and wait for the next thought. Stay still, alert and aware throughout the day. Be mindful of exactly what is taking place right now. Listen to the silence, feel the space around you.
Be grateful for the present moment. Practice a gratitude ritual. Each morning say 'Good morning, every day is a blessing.' Say it out loud. Be happy to have breath in my lungs. Start morning with gratitude. Recall 3 good things each day and feel it. When complaining about something add 'and my life is very blessed' at the end of it.Serving - help others, immune system also improves, whatever happens it's part of loving and serving, belonging to something larger. Savouring - make each day as good as it can be, pause and take it all in, 10 breathes to savour it. Awareness of the mortality and impermanence, motivation to enjoy the moment. Connect with true sense of who we are.
Let go and find what is beautiful in each moment. Don't sweat the small stuff. Feel heart and feel how strong it is and think of things you are grateful for. The mind will never let you enjoy life.
Forgive and love. Forgiveness is to relinquish your grievance and offer no resistance to life, with the alternative being pain. Daily Happiness Exercises. Joy. Mindfulness and accepting what's here.
Loving kindness occurs naturally when you are present. Joy is rare, open up to the whole experience, aliveness, not hitched to conditions, unconditioned happiness. You cannot experience joy when living in thoughts. You are happier when you are busy. You are happier when your mind is not wandering.
Celebrate the mystery of the life we cherish. Joy wakes up when you express it. Happiness doesn't need anything.
Pray for myself and others. Pray for all beings to be happy. Contribute when you can such as giving time to a soup kitchen.
Put your hands on your heart. Feel your heart for two minutes and breath deep in your heart and recall a grateful memory.
Be exactly with what's here. Concentration helps quiet the mind, gets you familiar with calm. Intention to be happy, open to what's possible with wellbeing, wish it for myself and others,
-------------------------------
Stop pretending to be invincible and just go back to doing what you love. The effort to try to feel happy and trouble free and the notion that we must have everything are often the things that makes us miserable. The true path to contentment is to enjoy uncertainty, embrace insecurity and even learn to value death.
When you put yourself as the centre, you will not be happy. The day you realise that it's not about you is the day you start living. Serve others,
I have very high standards. It is a little unrealistic. I look for external things to bring me happiness. I should be more internally focused. I have tried many things and excelled in many areas, but they have not made me happy. Psychologically, I'm fine and I don't have many anxiety or stress symptoms.
If your goal is endless joy, it may not be attainable and you may end up disappointed. Endless happiness is not something to strive for. There is no such thing as a perfect life, a perfect partner, or the best job. It is a combination of accepting where you are and having what you want, but still aiming high. Expectations that don't match reality lead to unhappiness.
A whole spectrum of feelings is normal. You cannot get the highs if you don't have the lows. Anything meaningful is filled with both pleasure and pain. Spiritual goals are difficult to monitor and achieve; and they may not be something to aim for. Meaning in life may be good, but meaning is not necessary. It is fine not to have a purpose in life. Instead, enjoy what is happening each day, enjoy the small things in life and be mindful and sociable.
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