Loss of Hunger

I notice the change. Slowly. I see it in me and my friends.

I don't have that drive. The burning desire to succeed. 

The dulling comes once you achieve success. You have the money, the fame, the power you once craved. You have achieved what you believe to be adequate.

It can also come from age, from being defeated one too many times, from acceptance of your situation, from time devoted to the day to day, from fighting life's battles, from sheer exhaustion.

Energy dampens. You want to relax. To take it easy.

When this occurs, you are gone. The one most universal trait among successful people is hunger.

Never lose the hunger and drive. Be more, give more and create more.

Evolution

The creation of the first living organism with artificial DNA not found in nature is astonishing. As far as we know, this new organism has never occurred in the billions of years of evolution on Earth or elsewhere in the universe.

Life on Earth in all its diversity is encoded by only two pairs of DNA bases, A-T and C-G. What has been created by scientists is an organism that stably contains those two pairs plus a third, unnatural pair of bases.

The discovery opens the door to new possibilities, where infinite permutations of bases can be combined to form infinite numbers of complex amino acids and proteins, potentially leading to an infinite number of organisms and creatures.

This further step in genetic modification, complements recent scientific discussion on artificial intelligence, where machines with superhuman intelligence may reach a stage where they can repeatedly improve their design. This could theoretically give rise to the creation of a new species, beyond which the course of human history is unpredictable or even unfathomable. In fact, it was recently reported that a computer became the first machine to pass the Turing Test by convincing judges that it was human. As Steven Hawking and co wrote, "whereas the short-term impact of AI depends on who controls it, the long-term impact depends on whether it can be controlled at all". These discoveries highlight once again just how little we know.

On a related point, 90 to 99 percent of species ever existing on the planet have already become extinct. The overwhelming majority of species vanish as a result of normal or background extinction due to the limited period of biological species existence, which fluctuates from 1 million years with mammals through to 11 million years with some marine invertebrates. Besides background extinction, fauna has experienced five mass extinctions, as a result of which 50 to 95 percent of then existing species disappeared within a limited historical period.

Perhaps one can take a leaf from the immortal jellyfish, which has the ability to adapt to the environment through transforming itself from an adult to a baby, theoretically meaning that it can live forever.

What Really Matters

I live in a privileged era. I so often forget this. Knowledge, sex, and opportunity are open to me in a way that were not freely available to generations past.

Somehow, despite this, people rarely live up to their dreams. As individuals, we have to stop and ask ourselves 'if I were 80 and looking at my life, what would I have regretted doing and what path I should take now to minimise regret'. Few take the initiative to pursue their calling. Many are too comfortable in their own lives, perhaps with their income and status, and are too scared of stepping outside their boundaries.

I am going to. I, too, am scared of the unknown and am unsure about the uncertainty it entails. However, I have a good idea how happy I will be if I keep following the path I am currently on and what it may be like if I actively pursue what I enjoy.

I know what will happen if I continue on the path that I am on. I see the future ahead of me and it is calamitous. I am already neglecting my friends and social life, ruining my sex life, obsessing over more money, becoming less fit and active, and seeing my happiness levels decline. The average person's happiness declines from their early 20s until 45, in large part due to the toll of working life. I don't see the point of working long hours everyday, wasting away the best years of my life slaving for the system, for something that is pointless anyway. I know that I won't be maximising my happiness if I maintain the status quo.

The big question is whether I can create a life better than I would otherwise. There is only one way to find out. I have to commit to living the way I believe brings me greatest happiness first and reflect on it later (re: Retirement). I have recorded my happiness levels from working and being engaged in other activities. I know which activities I need to pursue to maximise my happiness (re: What Makes Me Happy?).

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Initially I thought life was so much more. I was achievement focused. Then I accomplished most of what I wanted to achieve and I realised that everything there is to accomplish is meaningless in the long run. Almost anything that one can accomplish will not make any lasting impact on history.

Looking through my diaries I see that life just passes by.

It is so quick.

Nothing matters.

I ask myself why I used to fret when it is so insignificant in the end. People pass by. They become a blur. I can't even recall some of my friends.

I am so insignificant. Nothing I do will change anything. The world just keeps going on. The universe keeps going.

Why do something big when it never matters? It doesn't matter because everything eventually fades away.

It's much simpler. It's about happiness, combined with doing good and showing love to others, balancing individuality with cooperation. These virtues line up well with an approach to life seeking to maximise pleasure over the long term as doing good makes life more pleasant and less stressful for the practitioner.

Wishful Thinking

Seeing startup success stories inspires and stirs envy.

I hear about these youngsters hitting the big time. Whatsapp selling for $19 billion. Airbnb, Uber and Campaign Monitor raising in excess of $200 million. Plenty of companies have now achieved $1 billion in valuation [1] [2], while many many more have valuations exceeding $20 million.

What these stories don't show is the exceedingly high rate of failure of startups. Only a few ever reach the pinnacle. My guess is around 1% of startups succeed (achieving a $20 million plus valuation) [3] [4].

Entrepreneurship is harder than a day job. It takes an emotional and physical toll. Entrepreneurs work 50% more hours than the average worker, with half working 50-60 hours a week [5] [6]. Working for yourself is likely to be more stressful and less secure than receiving a regular paycheck. Furthermore, around 50% of entrepreneurs report having a mental condition [7]. Tim Ferriss commented that only a minority of VC backed businesses are happy, founders tend to have a view that life will suck for the next 5 to 10 years and then they will exit, and few businesses actually survive.

What's more is that dilution and taxes take a big hit out of your end value, meaning that it is likely you are left with around 7% of the sale price [8] [9] [10] , which will take say 5 years to build towards. In this case, to achieve a $1 million exit post taxes, you will need to sell your startup for at least $15 million. In a post examining the poor returns of investing in startups, 'Drowning American' commented that his friends have successful exits of around $120 million and own roughly a 10% share, which is equivalent to under 7% of the sale price after tax [11].

Even if a startup achieves a good sale result, entrepreneurs often experience dislocation and disorientation following the sale, including feelings of loss and sadness as their companies gave them a sense of identity, purpose and structure. They also have difficulty finding wealth advisors and find that it takes time to discover the next fulfilling chapter of their lives.

The odds are heavily tilted against you. You better have luck on your side.

On a related note, I must never forget how tough it is for the majority of hedge funds. After working in a hedge fund and interviewing many hedge fund managers, I know that most hedge funds have low assets under management and just match market returns. In fact, around 90% of hedge funds have less than $100 million assets under management [12]. We only hear stories of the funds that make it big, while the reality is that the majority don't make bucket loads of money.

Environmental Degradation

The destruction of the natural environment is happening at an astonishing rate.

The population of lions, sharks and rhinoceros are down by around 80 per cent in the last 50 years. Many animals and plants are on the brink of extinction.

Earth has lost half of its wildlife in the past 40 years. The WWF reports that animal species have been decimated as humans kill them for food in unsustainable numbers, while polluting or destroying their habitats, with the most severe decline among populations of freshwater species.

The increasing human population further encroaches on the natural habitats of many animal species. This leads to more demand for water, food, and energy, and more production and waste. Our consumption of natural resources has risen dramatically. While population has risen fourfold in the last century, water use has gone up sevenfold.

Moreover, it does not help that the human species is generally self centred, particularly amongst adults. People and businesses have predominantly neglected the environment in the pursuit of profits and personal interests.

The activities of the human population are placing an enormous strain on the natural environment. We see this in many ways. The reliance on dangerous energy sources polluting the environment and leading to the potential for adverse consequences. The use of pesticides, herbicides, and fertilisers poisoning animal and human health. The poaching, hunting and over-consumption of animals leading to near extinction of many animal species. The amount of waste produced ending up in landfill sites and oceans. The clearing of natural habitats for agriculture, forestry, mining and urban development reducing habitable land.

There are no easy solutions. Overall, it comes down to restricting the growth in the human population (through reducing child mortaility, improving education and contraception) and being more resource efficient.

Relationship Conundrum

As more of my friends get married and upon continual insistence from my family, I feel peer pressure to find a suitable girl and get married.

I wanted to get married some day. In part, it was because it was the thing to do. In my mind, I always expected that I would settle down.

Lately, I have been thinking about it more and weighing up where I want to take my personal relationships. Currently I want to make the most of my single life and have fun with girls. I have no inclination to settle down. Although, I believe this will change as I grow older.

There are benefits with being single. I enjoy the thrill of the chase and connecting with new girls, particularly when the feelings are shared. I can travel when and where I want. It is less likely that the girl will have the time and money to be able to travel extensively with me if I settle down. I can meet young girls that I, and most men are more attracted to, whereas I am afraid that I will not be sexually attracted to a girl when she grows old.

I need to listen to my true self. The last thing I want is to settle down too soon and suffer a mid-life crisis due to divorce or regret. I will miss it when it's gone and all the money in the world won't buy me the year I was 25, 30 or 35.

On the flip side, there are girls I like but there are few and far between. I am picky. I am only attracted to a few girls. I spend a lot of my time looking and half the girls I am interested in have boyfriends. It is better to settle down if I am not achieving what I want with my single life. I also desire a deeper connection and feel a longing for more if I am interested in a girl.

I know marriage is a big decision. I have to choose wisely and look for traits such as love and faithfulness in addition to playfulness and adventurousness. Studies have shown that women who have more non-marital sexual partners are more likely to divorce and more likely to be unhappy in marriage. Factors that reduce the risk of divorce include: age of marriage being over 25, age of first sexual experience being over 18, birth of first child after 8 months of marriage, Asian ethnicity (as opposed to black), a bachelor's degree or higher education [1], deciding to live together with a view to marriage (as opposed to sliding into co-habitation), and a formal wedding ceremony. I also have to note that for a lot of couples, the amount of sex declines after the second child. Divorce rates are also on the rise [1a]. It is better to marry a woman from a country where the divorce rate is not high (ranked by percentage) [1b, 1c]. It is better to choose the profession of a woman wisely too [1d]. It is better to marry a woman from a country that ages well.

The most stable romantic relationships and marriages are those in which one party is dominant. It is important to me that I find a girl who is subordinate to me and likes me more than I like her. She will be there for me through thick and thin and provide the compassion, understanding and unconditional love that a spouse should have for the other no matter what.

Happy relationships are characterised by the quality of their friendship with each other. Happy couples share 5 positive experiences for every negative one. Positive interactions include giving compliments, showing appreciation, reliving a memory and doing something nice for each other.  Happy couples talk more. They make time for intimacy and have sex a few times a week. They share new experiences together. They respond to triumphs with enthusiasm, questions and congratulations. They respond to arguments with humour, affection, and concession on certain points [2].

Around 40% of marriages end in divorce. Almost half of marriages have had divorce initiated. 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Divorce is equivalent to a $9,000 loss for women compared with a $110,000 loss for men (in 2009 dollar amounts). In comparison, marriage provides a $16,000 benefit for women compared with a $32,000 benefit for men. Divorce is worse than remaining single because it is financially destructive and psychologically damaging. Many divorces occur because of unreasonable expectations, with contempt and criticism being the biggest predictors of divorce [3].

I will have to get a pre-nuptial agreement covering children when I marry. My parents divorced and I have experienced girls breaking my heart on more than one occasion. A lot of girls are self-interested and treat me with no respect. There are many bad people in this world and it is not easy to know what someone is like beneath the surface. I read about a woman who was unfaithful and divorced her husband as he was not making her feel 'special' after 20 years of marriage despite him being a good husband and father, having a good job, undertaking most of the domestic duties, and helping with the children. I can lose half or more of the wealth I accumulated in the event of a divorce. I need to check with a lawyer in obtaining a binding financial agreement and consent orders stamped by the court, documenting that both parties received independent legal advice before signing the agreement to reduce the risk of a challenge.

I know that I want a girl to grow old with, even as a companion. I don't want to be alone when I am old. Some single people get swindled, and it is easier to get swindled when one is older and not as savvy. In the long term, it is good to have someone there to share experiences with. Relationships magnify experiences. Studies show that marriage is good for the children, health, and happiness. I also want to be a father at some stage.

A UK survey found that on a scale of 0 to 10, married people were on average 0.14 points happier than co-habiting couples, 0.3 points happier than single people and 0.4 points happier than those who were divorced or separated. In the US, the well-being of married people was also higher than single, divorced and separated people.

I realise it is up to me. I decide what I want to do. I know that right now I have no desire to settle down. I want to make the most of being single. I want to live out my dreams and not live in regret from settling down too soon.

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A side note on platonic relationships.

I understand the value of good friendships and the happiness and sense of connection they bring. Good friendships take time to build and requires active engagement to nurture. It is easier to build such relationships through a centralised community such as school, university, a work program, or an interest group.

Often priorities and interests change and good friends may drift apart and meet less frequently. This is more likely to occur when a friend settles down, has children or moves overseas. Research shows that falling in love comes at the cost of losing two close friends.

Friendships have been the biggest contributor to my happiness. However, I am in less contact with my close friends. I can choose to actively seek out new friends and/or rekindle old friendships, although the latter is not easy to do as my friends are in long term relationships and are busier with work and family. I can also choose to focus on other drivers of happiness.

As for the majority of friends and acquaintances, they come and go all the time. I don't even remember some of the friends I had in the past.

Most people just worry about their day to day. I don't know people who reflect on their past moments. Old friends don't contact me anymore.

Most men lose friends and become increasingly lonely after they turn 30 as work, family and other commitments eat up their time. 25% of men have few or no social connections, and loneliness and isolation is common in men between the ages of 30 and 65 [4]. Our social networks shrink from age 25, with the pool of friends a person has getting smaller and smaller as the years go by. Loneliness is also an epidemic among young adults and a problem for older people [5]. The effects are huge. Social isolation is as potent a cause of early death as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness is twice as deadly as obesity. It is imperative to get relationships right, for the sake of health as well as living a happy life.

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On family and children.

Parents usually think that their child will be better than average. This is unrealistic. Even if they end up above average in the system, it will likely be in a white collar position that they dislike. It is more likely that your child will end up committing suicide or being locked up in jail or having a mishap than becoming a superstar, although being a superstar is not the goal of having children.

Families may break up. There are many instances of children not seeing their parents, parents not seeing their children, and separated couples never seeing each other again.

Fast Is Not Always Best

I have always wanted to be the fastest in everything.

I used to want to be the fastest in arithmetic, fastest to walk from the tram stop to school, fastest to cook a good meal, fastest in finishing woodwork, fastest in writing, fastest in achieving wealth.

However, it's not all good. To be the fastest, I often cut corners. My results lacked quality. I took risks. Sometimes the risks were not calculated. I noticed this today as I was driving. I was impatient and I wanted to reach the destination in the fastest time. Only when I arrived home did I realise my mistake. I was driving recklessly. It was dangerous and I put my life and that of my family at risk.

I have lost large amounts of money due to my desire for speed. The risks I took didn't pay off and I lost what I had. I realise now that when I have the wealth to retire, I need to remember to play it safe and not take risks that could mean I lose it.

I see the foolishness of my actions. There is no need to always be in a rush. When striving to be the fastest one has to fully appreciate the risks involved.