I am struggling. My mental state is weak and I succumb to addiction and despair.
I moved out of home for the first time six weeks ago and it is more difficult than I had envisaged.
I wasted a lot of time on mundane matters, which I should have been more decisive on. It took me over 15 property inspections to find a place to live and many days searching online for properties to rent, when I should have picked a place to live sooner. I spent days looking for other guys to go out with before I could find a few who go out on a regular basis, even though I know that it's not my goal to make new friends that would be difficult to keep in contact with due to location. I have built a small social circle and had a few dates, but overall it has been disappointing as I expected to easily find a crew of friends to go out with and have heaps of girls. I spent days contacting teams and sports centres about joining a football team, when I should have allocated times of the week to this task. I have found a few football teams, but I am not sure how they will go. I also went away for two weeks, which broke the momentum that I had.
I was sucked into working after I moved out. When I did the math, I couldn't believe that I am contemplating working for another ten weeks and only earning $3,500 when it makes such a small difference to me. My friends are earning on average $150,000 per year and I am considering working for so little. Granted, I did learn some lessons in my job and my time at work has not been bad. However, the part time sales role I am doing makes me neither happy nor sad and it is not my goal. This aspect is critical for me because working will take away time from my goals, which are so important to me. Now is the most important time I have. I am not here to make $3,500. I am here for a reason.
I have no career goals. Even if I were working a full time job earning an average wage, I would only make around $13,000 net after tax after 3 months, which is less than 1% of my net worth. Even with a $1,000,000 salary, I would only make the same money after tax as a project. As such, I don't see a point to working a job that I do temporarily. I have no fitness goals as I achieved everything I wanted. I also cannot get sidetracked by looking at what others are doing and their goals and just pursuing that for the sake of it, without considering what I want (Updated March 2017).
Even though I am wealthy, I don't feel rich at all. I am living a fairly cheap lifestyle and carefully watching my spending patterns. Having a few properties vacant adds to the torture. I am losing money every week and it is painful.
I tried some techniques such as making my bed in the morning and meditating for ten days but it didn't help. The guided meditation relaxed my mind and made me calmer for a while, but I didn't see other benefits afterwards. Lots of everyday activities take more time than expected, such as cooking, cleaning up, washing the clothes, and shopping. I am also distracted by news, email, and websites.
Complications have arisen that make my goals more difficult to achieve. I injured my shin this week and it is debilitating. Winning a football tournament is my ultimate goal, but now it may be put on hold while I await news about the severity of the injury. I want to learn intimacy, to be comfortable with touch. I want to really love myself, which I am not doing enough of right now. I want to learn to love everyone and accept others, regardless of whether they are good to me or not.
I know that time is ticking. This is the biggest motivator that will help me achieve my goals. I know that I have around ten weeks to go before I leave. I need to be continuously learning and keeping the goals I have front and centre of my mind.
I don't set goals because they are easy. My goals are what I want to achieve. I know there will be ups and downs. There will be many struggles. To get there I have to struggle, learn and get better quickly.
I know deep down I can achieve my goals. I've done it before and I'll do it again.
I moved out of home for the first time six weeks ago and it is more difficult than I had envisaged.
I wasted a lot of time on mundane matters, which I should have been more decisive on. It took me over 15 property inspections to find a place to live and many days searching online for properties to rent, when I should have picked a place to live sooner. I spent days looking for other guys to go out with before I could find a few who go out on a regular basis, even though I know that it's not my goal to make new friends that would be difficult to keep in contact with due to location. I have built a small social circle and had a few dates, but overall it has been disappointing as I expected to easily find a crew of friends to go out with and have heaps of girls. I spent days contacting teams and sports centres about joining a football team, when I should have allocated times of the week to this task. I have found a few football teams, but I am not sure how they will go. I also went away for two weeks, which broke the momentum that I had.
I was sucked into working after I moved out. When I did the math, I couldn't believe that I am contemplating working for another ten weeks and only earning $3,500 when it makes such a small difference to me. My friends are earning on average $150,000 per year and I am considering working for so little. Granted, I did learn some lessons in my job and my time at work has not been bad. However, the part time sales role I am doing makes me neither happy nor sad and it is not my goal. This aspect is critical for me because working will take away time from my goals, which are so important to me. Now is the most important time I have. I am not here to make $3,500. I am here for a reason.
I have no career goals. Even if I were working a full time job earning an average wage, I would only make around $13,000 net after tax after 3 months, which is less than 1% of my net worth. Even with a $1,000,000 salary, I would only make the same money after tax as a project. As such, I don't see a point to working a job that I do temporarily. I have no fitness goals as I achieved everything I wanted. I also cannot get sidetracked by looking at what others are doing and their goals and just pursuing that for the sake of it, without considering what I want (Updated March 2017).
I tried some techniques such as making my bed in the morning and meditating for ten days but it didn't help. The guided meditation relaxed my mind and made me calmer for a while, but I didn't see other benefits afterwards. Lots of everyday activities take more time than expected, such as cooking, cleaning up, washing the clothes, and shopping. I am also distracted by news, email, and websites.
Complications have arisen that make my goals more difficult to achieve. I injured my shin this week and it is debilitating. Winning a football tournament is my ultimate goal, but now it may be put on hold while I await news about the severity of the injury. I want to learn intimacy, to be comfortable with touch. I want to really love myself, which I am not doing enough of right now. I want to learn to love everyone and accept others, regardless of whether they are good to me or not.
I know that time is ticking. This is the biggest motivator that will help me achieve my goals. I know that I have around ten weeks to go before I leave. I need to be continuously learning and keeping the goals I have front and centre of my mind.
I don't set goals because they are easy. My goals are what I want to achieve. I know there will be ups and downs. There will be many struggles. To get there I have to struggle, learn and get better quickly.
I know deep down I can achieve my goals. I've done it before and I'll do it again.
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