Life is Not Fair

I wondered what I should title this entry. The horror. Tragedy. I chose this title because it reflects life, the ups and downs, the highs and lows.

If I said times were tough before, they do not compare to how I felt this week.

This week I felt the most sadness I had experienced in over two years. I was close to tears, but somehow I did not cry. I felt a whole raft of emotions I had not felt for a long time. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Depression. Nothingness. Humiliation. Gone were the happiness and joy I had become accustomed to feeling.

Thoughts rushed through my head. Yet at the same time, thoughts could not be summoned.

A whole series of unfortunate, or some might say unlucky, events conspired, where I missed out on promotion, failed a job interview, fined a large sum of money, lost a lot on the business, suffered computer problems, rejected by others, fell ill, and attacked by vandals amongst other things.

The events may not seem significant. However, they meant a lot to me - it meant so much and thus it hurt so much.

I know these events may seem very minor to some people. I have a friend suffering from a serious illness and I can only sympathise with what he is going through.

---------------------------------------------------

Life is harsh. It is a cruel world. It rewards those who put in the hard yards and get lucky.

For many people around the world, their reality composes of living from day to day. It starts at conception, where an ovarian lottery determines who you are born to and where you are born. The country you are born in and the family you are born into strongly influences your chances in life. This lottery at birth influences your habits, education, wealth, health, and friends. It is made more difficult for people who are ugly, disabled, or of a race that does not fit in.

There are things you can change. You can work hard to lose weight, get educated, etc. However, there are many things that are out of your control. As an example, it is extremely difficult for a child born to a poor family in a poor country to become wealthy.

Take sex as another example. Life is harder being a man. There are no easy ways to have sex on a consistent basis, unless you have fame, money, status, looks or a strong social circle. For most men, it is hard work where the failure rate is very high. Not every woman will like you and many women are fickle.

One must take responsibility. Most people feel their predicament is someone else's fault. Try not to think like that. Understand that opportunity does not come without hard work. Demonstrate passion, enthusiasm, expertise, network in your areas of interest, do the best in the field you are in, and build reputation in your field.

I also reflect upon the brevity of life. How it becomes harder when you are older. How it is over before you know it. As the years pass by, it becomes harder to achieve everything I desire to do, see, and be. I know that this is a limiting belief, but it is also true.

---------------------------------------------------

I must move on from what has happened. I must sit down by myself and with others and work through the issues I am facing. Importantly, I must realise that life is not fair. Personally, I have to do the best I can do, be the best I can be, control what I can control, and let everything else run its course. It may not turn out the way I want. It may not go well. At least I can say that I am doing the best I can do, being the best I can be, and going for it.

Go For It

I have talked at length about taking action. However, this deserves a topic of it's own.

Stop thinking and dreaming. Just do it.

It doesn't matter if you thinking of starting a business, spending an year travelling across Europe, recording some disco tracks, or talking to that girl across the room.

Yes, knowledge, skills, planning, people, money, and identifying opportunities all help. However important these are, you must go for it to make it possible.

You do it for the sake of action, for the sake of experience, for the reason and reinforcement that you are the person who goes for what he or she wants, unashamedly, and with passion, never giving in, and you will achieve all the success you've ever desired, and more.

Who I Am

Every decision you make -
Every decision -
Is not a decision about what to do.
It's a decision about who you are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.

- Neale Donald Walsch

-----------------------------------------------------------

Who am I? What is my purpose? [2019 update]

We are commonly identified by the role we live out: student, mother, son, friend, profession. We find our life, worth, and purpose in these roles. However, this is not how we were meant to live. You should dissociated with these labels. This identity is temporary and not who you fundamentally are. Your identity is defined by who you perceive yourself as your core. Start by asking what are 3 words that describe who you are and asking yourself what are the traits that have remained the same over your life. Your family and friends may contribute their opinion, but in the end you decide.

Identity is critical for maintaining a solid sense of self. It’s the glue that holds us together, even in the most discombobulating of circumstances.

So who am I?

I am inquisitive (curious, open minded, observant, analytical), ambitious (achievement orientated, accomplished). I aim to further cultivate my identity around positivity, confidence and dominance. 

After these traits, I am also healthy, intelligent, indifferent, introspective, and just. My sister describes me as ambitious, loyal, reflective (mysterious, creative and exploratory).

My purpose is connected with my vision board and my goals for the future.

In 2009, I saw myself as happy, self assured, positive, confident, ambitious and just. I projected this for myself, but while I see myself as ambitious and just I don't believe I was self assured and positive at the time. (re: Big Picture). My purpose was to enjoy my life and make a difference (re: Goals). It has now changed a little.

What is your true purpose in life? Is it for fulfilment, enjoyment, pleasure, worship, meaning, giving? It could be a mix of these. What is important is realising what it is and following it.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I only do what I would do. I make my decisions based on what makes me happy and what makes me feel good. I have amazing goals, a great life, nothing anyone does or says is going to affect me at all. I don't need anybody or anything, I can be complete on my own.

The key to becoming amazing is to remember who you are. Believe in yourself. Be confident and control your reality.

A real Man (or Woman) is a guy living his purpose, his passion, doing what he knows to be right and following his path. He doesn't care what other people make of his journey as it's his journey. He's living his life on his journey and you can either be part of that or not.

Analysis of Feelings

I have a scientific interest in feelings. Though not limited to simple psychology. I am interested in deconstructing feelings into simple states. I observe people and the amount of time they spend in each state. Whether they control the state they are in (e.g. through meditation) or whether the state is influenced by external factors (e.g. sudden reactive impulses).

A feeling can be described as a conscious subjective experience of emotion. Each perception or emotion a being experiences is a result of many states interacting, many of them subconsciously.

Individuals have differing perceptions in response to each individual stimuli. Be it analytically or emotionally based. The mind constantly shapes these states accordingly to preexisting nature, experience, reaction, or external factors (such as cirumstance) giving rise to certain disposition or behaviour.

Circumstance may alter an individual's state and resulting behaviour. An office job, for example, may confine an individual to a structured set of behaviours. A motor vehicle fine or a win in a game of blackjack, may affect an individual's emotion in differing manners. The effect of the circumstance and its duration varies from person to person and depends on an individual's capacity to deal with circumstance. Individuals may, for example, learn from the circumstance and repeatedly react in a way to alter the state they are in.

Feelings can, to a large extent, be controlled. Individuals are free to (or have the capacity to) control how they view outcomes. When people start to understand this principle, they start to control their reality.

Nervous Excitement

Why should I get nervous?
It's not like the outcome matters to me.
Even if it did, being nervous would not help.
What matters is doing everything I can to make my dreams, my goals, a reality.

Anatomy of Happiness

Sometimes I feel happiness over nothing in particular. These moments of sheer happiness occur regardless of the situation I im in. I usually feel like this before I go to sleep, but today I felt it when I woke up all the way to work. I thought it was useful to jot down some thoughts I had on how I was able to generate this feeling of contentment, this happiness. After all, happiness is a wonderful feeling.

Think of the positive.
Let positive thoughts build upon positive thoughts.
Smile and tap into positive states.
Relax.
Enjoy each breath.
Feel appreciation.
Give appreciation.
Love.
Be content.
Feel better and better.
Overwhelm mind, body, and soul with joy.

Work Tips

A successful career has far more to do with who you know, being in the right place at the right time, and recognising opportunity.

It's not what you did that matters. It's how you convey it to others.

• Do your work well - understand your and your manager's tasks and objectives, outperform your and your manager's objectives, seek feedback and learn from it, do what you commit to, demonstrate clear and considered work, generate results
• Build relationships - listen, build trust and respect, build relationships across the board, find people smarter than you, raise your manager's status, work as a team, be aware of the feelings and goals of others, ask what others are trying to accomplish and how you can help, ask for help and appreciate it, give credit to others
• Plan and organise - plan your tasks by allocating time and resources, identify the highest priorities, plan and prioritise your day, prepare for meetings, be flexible, contribute
• Take initative - be proactive, volunteer for projects, mentally challenge everything, raise issues, solve problems and implement solutions, take responsibility, clarify assumptions, convey your perspective
• Keep informed - understand the environment, know the business and issues, develop and apply knowledge, find suitable mentors
• Market yourself - be visible, emphasize strengths, differentiate yourself
• Right attitude - enjoy work, have a passion, be loyal, be available
• Ask yourself - can you picture yourself in the position of the person above you? If not, leave.