In The Beginning

As a species on this planet our lives are insignificant. In relative terms, our time on this planet and the scale of our achievement is nothing.

We live in a universe that is difficult to comprehend. Our sun is one of an estimated 300 billion stars in the Milky Way that is approximately 100,000 light years across. Astronomers estimate there are 500 billion galaxies in the universe. This does not include the countless number of planets and other celestial bodies in the expanse that is space.

At the other end of the scale, current thinking is that fermions (quarks and leptons) and bosons form the elementary particles of matter. Then there is antimatter and dark matter, which have yet to be explored [1].

In the infinity of space and the infinity of time infinitely small particles mutate with infinite complexity.

Sometimes we may get caught up in thinking that the world revolves around us. Yet, so much about the world we live in is unknown. Let alone the universe or what lies beyond.

Focus on the Goal

What I have achieved so far is nothing relatively speaking. I have made no significant accomplishment and there are still things I should be good at doing.

To go where I want to go, it is essential that I go for my goals and believe I will achieve them. I must know what I have to do each day and have a winning attitude remembering that almost everything I want to do has been done before.

With goals, it is best to have a maximum of 1-2 main goals to focus on. This increases the likelihood of achieving them. 

Goals may change and some things that are important to me now may not be important to me in the future. I know that I have to keep my goals flexible and the possibilities open. I also endeavour to expand my perspective by doing things I am not good at and don't necessarily love, in order to behave better.

I have to remember to not dwell on the past, let anything get to me, or place unnecessary pressure on myself. Yesterday is history. The nights lying in bed crying about girls. The nights walking home alone talking to myself about finding the dream job and shouting in agony in the bathroom. This heartbreaking year of posting on sites and waiting but nothing happening. The number of interviews and interview practice. I have to re-frame the negative situations to something positive and see what I learnt.

I have to focus on what I can do. I have to learn from the past and pay heed to the lens of history. I have to be mindful of momentum. I have to remember what matters most to me and not let that get pushed aside.

Defining the Dream

To live the dream, you must know what the dream is.

It is with this in mind that I set out to define my dream. What does my dream day look like? What is the dream life that I want to live day in, day out? What is my end goal? (Re: A Reflection and Regrets)

I penned down these ideas of how it might look and tied it to what makes me happy, with the overarching theme being to 'Enjoy life and serve God' (Re: Big Picture / What Makes Me Happy? / Who I Am):

• Friends - laughter with friends, happy and successful children
• Holidays - travelling to beautiful places, exploring and discovering (feeling excitement, adventure)
• Activities - amazing experiences (when a moment takes over, ASOT 500, a tender kiss, top restaurants, cars, ok, I want to drive a Ferrari around racetracks, jetski, surf, win a sport, do community work, start a hedge fund, run a marathon, trek to the poles, sing in front of crowds, swim with whale sharks)
• Contentment - every breath is beautiful (a breath of happiness, joy, peace, love), minimalistic, relaxed, taking time out, being in control of life, released from all worry, help (environmental charities)
• Game - loving hot girls, good marriage
• Exercise - cycling, keeping fit and healthy

As current examples, it can be riding a motorcycle along the countryside in Vietnam with good friends and my girlfriend beside me or chilling out with good company at a party in a New York disco. In my future dream I have a wife and two kids with my immediate family and friends, an Audi S8, living in the south of France and Australia with the time to travel, feeling relaxed.

It takes initiative - otherwise I can be trapped in the dream, but not living it.

I also researched what the billionaire lifestyle is like so I can incorporate some of that into my activities in the future - yachts, jets, elite rental cars, high end daily car, luxury islands, submarines, helicopters, space, parties, fine dining, activities (such as fitness, fishing, hunting, photography, spas), owning sports clubs, personal assistants, chefs, wives and mistresses, elite school for kids, five star hotels, travelling round the world, Riviera villa, London house, Alpine ski resort and chalet or palace.

I ask myself. What will you think when you look back? What are the best times of your life?

Is it the job or work you did, the money you accumulated? Or is it these moments, experiences, friends and family? Why not do what you want when you want and live the dream? As Bon Jovi said 'It's My Life'.

Never Give Up

While playing Racer, a racing game, I learnt a simple truth. I had played this game over 100 times but could not clock it. Then, one thing changed and I won. The one thing was a switch in mindset:

Do everything I can to win. I am not going to take it [the alternative].

This principle applies to other areas too. I thought about it today as I was running. I was physically aching, my body felt slow and my feet seemed to be dragging. I asked myself the question, am I going to give up or am I going to do everything I can not to stop.

Winston Churchill summed it up best when he said: “Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

At every corner, do your best. There is no complacency, it's not a race to survive. You are there to win.

Kamikaze

The news of the Fukushima nuclear plant employees battling to cool the stricken reactor from meltdown is extraordinary and disturbing. It brings to mind the depths of the human spirit.

These workers who face near certain death from radiation likely understand what they are putting themselves under. However, they continue to go through with their ordeal, knowing they will live the remainder of their lives in such brutal and inhumane conditions and die in suffering.

What state of mind causes people to do this? To place country over self, the lives of others over their own. I cannot answer this question, perhaps it was forced upon them, perhaps it was an obligation of their work, perhaps it was a higher cause. This incident also brought home the thinking that go through suicide bombers, matyrs, soldiers who sacrifice their lives and in many cases what a tragedy it is to see life cut short.

Requiem For A Dream

In the quietness of the night, I enter psychological breakdown. It all started earlier when I attempted to clearly define my dream*. Then the questions appeared.

Time just passes. Tick. Tick. Tick.

{**} I am becoming deluded. Paranoid.

There's no time to hit the pause button. It is a constant go. A whirlwind rush. Playing with the mind can be more dangerous than playing with the body.

Don't feel. Don't think. I think but it's not me. It's me in this system.

Do I feel sad? No. Do I feel happy? No.

I am content. But it hides trouble.

I hold my head in my hands. Finally some reprieve.

It has been forever since I had a break. Yoga provides temporary respite.

I have let myself down. Partly because of the issues stemming from (It Wasn't Meant To Be Like This (2)), partly from the time and effort I have pored into the business and work.

But it is not my dream.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. Pent up despair. I know I can't keep doing this to myself. But I do. Where I slowly self-destruct. Short term craving***. Long term aching.

What happened to morality? To having a clear head? Seductively clear, but not clear.

To my dream?

Striving. Striving. But what am I working towards? What is my dream life? What can I do now to live it [slash] work towards it?

Lyrics play. I need you to rescue me from my destiny. Interlude. Life is what we make of it.

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* I have to live my dream everyday - there is no other way to live.

** time shift to years

*** for money

Revolution in the Arab World

What started as a college graduate's protest after his store was confiscated by police sparked public dissonance on the streets of Tunisia. After years of authoritarian political rule, corruption and high unemployment, demonstrators overthrew the government in dramatic scenes.

These protests have since inspired similar uprisings across the Arab word, leading to the toppling of the Mubarak government in Egypt and spreading to Libya, Bahrain, Yemen, and other neighbouring countries. In countries such as Libya, the protests have become increasingly bloody.

The political landscape looks set to change in these countries as the unrest escalates. However, it is uncertain what will eventually happen to these countries and their future prospects. With rising food prices and a regional water crisis, difficult issues will have to be confronted in the near future.