Reset

On the treadmill. Losing sight of my dreams.

This has been the disappointing reality of this year. I got caught up ruminating over how I can make another million as I realised that a few million in the bank doesn't make me feel rich and that my cash flow is not as good as I want it to be. My lack of happiness made me realise that there is no joy in winning the lottery as I would have put the proceeds to use in a similar way to what I have done.

In hindsight, I would not have chased another project if I had known how long and stressful it would have been. I spent months sourcing finance and chasing contractors to get the project off the ground. I researched purchasing more properties to make another few hundred thousand dollars. I wasted days trading the markets where I risk ten thousand dollars to only make a few hundred dollars, which is immensely stupid given that I could have aimed for a home run instead. I also made some long term strategic bets on gold and mining stocks given the risky global political and economic situation and impending clean energy boom.

I highly regret the trading and would not have pursued the property project if I had my time again, however I think it is prudent to invest in gold to hedge against the forthcoming downturn in the financial markets.

The desire for more wealth will never end. I thought it was over it when I documented my obsession with wealth, however I accept that the desire is deeply ingrained. I witness the same desire among wealthy acquaintances. I am unhappy while staying at home just thinking about ways to make money. I am not living any more. The time remaining until I wish to settle down is ticking down, so too the time remaining until I die. I have not dedicated time to planning my future or contemplating my deep endeavours as I feel the need to get the project underway and my investments sorted first.

The sole focus on my finances has killed other aspects of my life. While my health and fitness is very good and I enjoy spending an extended time with family, I have not devoted time to pursuing happiness or relationships. Initially, my situation was even worse as I was also occupied by explicit material and suffering from hair loss, where I was losing sex drive and contemplating a hair transplant, although both of these issues have since improved somewhat.

I keep procrastinating on my goals. My goals spreadsheet contains some big ticket items that I keep postponing until some undetermined later date. It hurts me that I have been stuck at home, while my youth is disappearing. Time is limited. I am cognisant of the fact that I must go for my goals. I have set the next year or two to complete my current goal list by ticking off my goals one by one and end the endless delay.

I am bitterly sad that I have not committed to living the life I want and travelling to the destinations I wanted to go this year. I wanted to do an extended stay in Latin America after enjoying my previous visits and the simple things in life. I haven't committed. I wanted to do a few trips to Antarctica. I haven't done one yet. I wanted to drive the Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Porsches. I haven't even driven one. There are other goals I have and I will need to start making in-roads on each. One by one.

I remember when I had a brain, but that brain was taken over by the pursuit of vanity, under the glorified pretence of riches. I remember that I am given to a certain perspective of the world. As a gambler's mind is trapped in a world of their own, so too each human and living creature has their own versions of reality. There are also many out of the world experiences recorded in history which challenge conventional perspective, including the biblical accounts of Jonah's time in a belly of a big fish and Elijah with the fiery horses. Each being's reality is simply their own.

I have suffered a lack of epiphanies. My thinking has become more monotone, a consequence of overuse of the analytical part of the brain over the creative, over-consumption of media, and the set routine of the daily grind. Subject to slavery to preoccupation confined to the financial, discovery becomes limited and both wisdom and peace distant.

What's the point of living to simply work day by day accumulating money to no end? I just carve out a meagre existence where I am surviving, not thriving. I am put onto this planet for a moment in time with no certainty about what happens after my life is over. In this brief window of time I must take action to go for what I desire, while accepting the risks and rewards.

If my end goal is bliss, I suspect I will not be overly motivated building a company. Building a business to achieve more money than everyone else is what is shown to be successful in the media and I lap it up. I am no happier with $2 million than when I had $50,000. Yet, I am enticed by the billionaires of the world, I read about it and all my friends are working for the money. In the world's eyes success is just about money and fame. I have the wealth, health, and fame and none of them have brought me any joy. I have forsaken happiness in the trade off for wealth. People who are successful in business live and breath it and it's just not what I am after.

Acknowledging the deviation from and deferment of my goals coupled with my own loss of consciousness, I have to find the will to press the reset button to re-calibrate.

Exercise

Exercise makes me more relaxed and lifts my mood. A good workout session makes me more open to people and gives me more confidence.

High intensity interval training that generates a bit of huff and puff is excellent for the health. Interval training works both the aerobic and the anaerobic system, to help build endurance and speed. It has been found to improve mitochondrial functioning, insulin levels, and heart and lung health. Exercise of vigorous intensity is associated with cardiovascular disease and cancer mortality benefits. Implementing high intensity training has also been shown to prevent or delay ageing.

For a balanced fitness program, strength training is essential. This comprises regular resistance training using your own body weight or weights. Strength training can slow the muscle loss that comes with age, build the strength of your muscles and connective tissues, increase bone density, cut your risk of injury, and help ease arthritis pain. Studies have found that muscle-building exercise can also improve balance, reduce the likelihood of falls, improve blood-sugar control, hormone improvement, sharpen thinking and memory, and improve sleep and mental health. It helps prevent frailty, which is the number one reason people go into dependent care. The more muscle mass older people have, the less likely they are to die prematurely.

Importantly, exercising the muscles releases myokines, which reduces the low-level inflammation in the body that contributes to heart disease, type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer's, as well as working as tumour suppressants. Inflammation is particularly nasty as it is a precursor to many diseases and conditions, including cancer, heart disease, diabetes, chronic pain, and arthritis. It could be argued that without inflammation, most disease would not even exist. Warding off inflammation involves proper exercise, eating a clean diet with reduced fats and sugars, reducing stress, adequate sleep, living in a good environment with good air and water quality, creating conditions of love and appreciation, and keeping positive attitudes.

In addition to cardio and strength training, it is vital to incorporate flexibility training too. Doing stretches and massaging the body loosens up the body. Flexibility training assists with posture, improves range of motion, improves circulation and blood flow, and reduces the risk of injury and pain.

Exercise can be thought of as a pill that boosts energy and strength and improves resistance to disease. Physical exercise improves appearance and confidence, keeps hormonal balance and is a critical ingredient to staying fit and healthy.

While exercise is good for the body, it is important to avoid over-exercising. This can arise in endurance sports from repetitive overuse or where the body is exhausted without sufficient rest to restore and rejuvenate. It is worth noting that females have a longer life expectancy but they don't necessarily exercise as vigorously as males.

An exercise routine does not need to take long. Thirty minutes of exercise three times a week touching on cardio, strength and flexibility, in combination with an active lifestyle, is sufficient. This could be extended further when training for a specific sport or fitness goal. 

The Plague of Media

The media is mostly garbage and the consumption of media without proper critique is a disease.

Today's western media is increasingly conformist and opinionated, far removed from factual reporting.

There is a constant discussion of topics that bear little interest to me, but are referred to time and time again. These include ways to climb the corporate ladder, saving for retirement, equating success to getting rich, politics, sexism, the gap between generations, human rights, LGBT rights, refugees, climate change, weight loss and obesity. There is a total focus on the US, which makes up less than 5% of the world population, whereas regions that I believe are experiencing the most difficulty get completed ignored, such as Yemen, Syria and Somalia.

There is no discussion of issues that I feel are more important such as nature, science, maximising our lives, satisfaction, spirituality, and stories of people doing amazing things with their lives.

The media is plagued with inaccuracies, even from so called reputable sources. It is becoming increasing politically correct. There are no alternative viewpoints, despite their claim to support free speech. The media is making people dumb. Although I receive less exposure to media from other countries, I have anecdotal accounts suggesting that there are similar issues plaguing media in non-western countries.

Update (28/9/18): I am going to formally quit (or attempt to quit) reading Fairfax news and News.com.au and really any Australia media.
1. Way too American leaning, and anti Trump and anti China
2. Way too feminist, always discussion about sexism against females
3. Too much politics
4. Always discussio about crime
5. Always politically correct, never cracking jokes
I hate Australian media opinions and their negative effect on me. It may be a reflection of Australian people and their behaviour. It's fucking addictive but so destructive. I don't even give a fuck about the property news any more if I have to put up with their shit. I never used to consume the news like this when I was in school. It ruins the way you think, making you one dimensional just like Nazi Germany and lose creativity and the way to think independently

There is and never has been such a thing as right or wrong, equal or unequal. It is all one's interpretation and a certain prevailing interpretation is becoming normalised across western media.

Swayed

We are all swayed.

I am swayed by others, even if they are people I admire. I may see their photos on Instagram and feel I that I should emulate them.

I am swayed by my family that means well.

I am swayed by my friends, people I talk to, the content that I consume.

All of this is deceptive.

I must always pause and ask myself: what do I truly want right now.

I need to live my life and not have my life dictated by others.

I must not fall into the trap of reading news which does not add any value to my life.

It is easy to be swayed by others if I don't have a purpose with my life.

It is easy to fall in line with someone else's values or norms.

As we get older, we learn less. Our opinions harden.

This too is deceptive.

Heightened Risk

I suspect that the next three to five years will bring a greater geopolitical and economic risk than many anticipate.

The election of a US President prone to making rash decisions and one who is not afraid to take on large debt and file for bankruptcy in business combined with a more assertive China both internally and with its neighbours makes for a precarious dynamic. In addition, the ongoing conflict in the Arab states, involving ancillary support from the major military powers is spreading into the developed world and has the potential to ignite into something more potent.

It is concerning how complacent the world is in light of these events. Optimism across the major economies is high. Share prices are hitting new peaks and asset prices are largely overvalued relative to earnings. Global debt is high and is likely to increase further in the US and China.

While acknowledging these risks, there remains potential for asset prices to continue to ride higher spurred on by momentum and improved economic growth.

However, it only takes a sidestep by a major superpower or a black swan event to bring things back to reality. The risk of a major downside event such as a conflict and/or a recession is significantly increased.

Decision

At age 29 I had two paths.

One path was to crack the BRW Young Rich List and become one of the 200 richest Australians aged 40 or under. All I needed was a net worth of 20m by age 40. It looked likely that I would achieve this.

The other path was to retire with the aim of living life to the fullest. This is what I chose.

We are always faced with tough choices in life and there are no easy answers.

When I was reading the recently released 2016 Young Rich List, I calculated that I am still well on the trajectory to joining the list if I maintain my net worth growth rates over the past ten plus years. At the same time, I know how pointless the race for never ending wealth is. Yet, I still feel a sense of melancholy as I ponder over my decision to retire and live.

To retire is not the easiest choice. I am giving up enormous wealth. I have to put in effort every single day to be happy and make my life the best it can be. I know how easy it is to slip into mundane activities and routines that don't make me happy. I still have goals I want to achieve and I know in my heart that they will take hard work. Great achievement rarely comes without effort.

Despite no longer working, I still have the option to build more wealth and create more businesses if I choose to do so. While I sometimes flirt with this idea, I know that living a happy life and exploring the world are higher priorities for me.

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On a related note, I sometimes wonder whether I could have retired earlier. Under the most optimistic scenario, I would have retired at 27 and then taking 0.8 years to invest the proceeds of say a 10m sale with 30% ownership (around 2 years earlier than when I did retire) as I would have only started to look for jobs at 24, then work 1 year in banking and then 2 years in a startup and its sale finalisation. However, I retired at 29 and took 0.8 years to invest the proceeds.

As I retired 2 years later than my most optimistic scenario, I need to make the most of the time I have now. I generally wasn't happy during my last 2 years at work, but I cannot dwell on that any more as now is the only time I have. On the plus side, I learnt that there is no such thing as a dream job and I don't envy anyone's job (particularly so after having tried a few different jobs post retirement in technology and other sectors). 

Sectarian Movements

Throughout history there have been movements formed that push an agenda. Sometimes these movements become the dominant localised way of thought and action.

Although society is conforming to similar ideologies due to increasing global interconnectedness, there exists latent possibility to build disciples for a cause. Movements can spring up anywhere, although it is more difficult to form movements counter to existing values in developed countries where there is a strong rule of law.

A strong leadership or group philosophy is generally required to form a movement. It is much more powerful to have a sizable dedicated following than for an individual to go it alone, case in point being WikiLeaks. In the case where there is a leader, there are some traits which can be advantageous. A firm leader with clear cut viewpoints and strong beliefs will likely bring more followers as such a leader generates polarising opinion where some people will love them and others hate them. A leader is best suited to use emotion to convince people and persuade them of their message. Almost all behaviour and action can be normalised and almost all humans can be convinced to do something against their wishes.

Popularising a movement or ideology requires some form of devotion. Usually this starts with a small group of followers and then grows to become an army of people who are willing to live for a higher cause and willing to sacrifice their lives. Sometimes movements perpetuate an us versus them mentality. Movements are difficult to scale to a stage where they have significant impact, for example Anonymous, Sea Shepherd, Falun Gong, WikiLeaks are all of insufficient size to make an impact.

There are a myriad types of movements, with varying degrees of difficulty to form:

• Countries with its own laws, although a country is geography limiting
• Remote tribes with their own versions of status, autonomy or government, bodies based on limited interaction with modern life
• Societies and organisations with a common interest free from constraint, in some cases underground (Somali pirates, mafia, armies)
• Movements based around a religion or a cult, where there may be no definable region (Islamic state) 
• Movements based around a media following with strong support from the media (Nazis)
• Activist collective interest groups
• Companies and not for profits can also initiate or be part of a movement