But what is life
That one should spend one day, one week, one month, one year ruing, regretting, missing
That one answer to a calling he did not call for
That one does not choose, but is chosen for a purpose not agreeable to him
But in a blink, it is gone
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Four Pillars of Likable Communication
It has taken me years to come up with the four pillars of likable communication. The essential building blocks of likable communication. I call them the 4 C's. Confidence. Consideration. Contribution. Clarity.
1. Confident / bold / not nervous / relax
2. Consideration / plan / structure / think quick
3. Contribute / participate
4. Clear / specific / volume / voice
Other tenets of likable communication can include:
1. Confident / bold / not nervous / relax
2. Consideration / plan / structure / think quick
3. Contribute / participate
4. Clear / specific / volume / voice
Other tenets of likable communication can include:
- good listening, honesty, equality, freedom, acceptance, empathy, humour, tentativeness, positive emotionality, politeness
- enthusiasm, impressions, engaging, being personal, body language, building rapport, fitting in, showing genuine interest, smiling, appreciation, professionalism, being natural, motivation, creativity, presentation
- succinctness, conciseness, knowing what to say, knowing who to say it to, consistency, articulation, asking, listening, speaking speed, pausing
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Keys to Success
Action
Believing
Believing in yourself and a vision for the future is important. Believe that you are a winner and that you are exceptional. Believe that what you have done is not enough. Believing brings a sense of assurance as well as joy and peace even through trial and tribulation. Present with power and full belief.
Know your purpose and intended result. Do is the highest level of commitment. Plan for it. Ask for feedback on exactly what to improve on. Be prepared to win and be ready to take risks to achieve it. Celebrate successes.
Training
Train for over 10,000 hours, put in a tremendous amount of focused effort exerted over many years. Train on the basics, you can never overdrill on the basics. Repeat until ingrained. Watch videos of leaders in the field in the morning. The best in the field are highly intelligent and never stop working, with many working 60-65 hour weeks, having little time for anything else. The best sports players get there because of athleticism, work ethic, and peer pressure.
Persistence
Be hungry. Ask 7 times for exactly what you want. Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Add value. Be optimistic and have a positive attitude. Be disciplined and control your impluses. Observe the situation. Learn from failure. Never waste time lamenting or blaming. Never be aggressive or desperate. Rejection is never personal, separate objects around you from your identity.
Network
Build networks with successful people. Meet up with them and read their stories. Be outgoing. Be open to new ideas. Be part of a great team with a shared vision and help each other. Be loyal to each other and show appreciation. Match your message to the moment. Be in control of who is your team and be open to changing the people in your team. You become an average of the people you spend the most time with. Find mentors, you need someone who has been there to show you the ropes and make the activity fun.
Network
Build networks with successful people. Meet up with them and read their stories. Be outgoing. Be open to new ideas. Be part of a great team with a shared vision and help each other. Be loyal to each other and show appreciation. Match your message to the moment. Be in control of who is your team and be open to changing the people in your team. You become an average of the people you spend the most time with. Find mentors, you need someone who has been there to show you the ropes and make the activity fun.
Mastery
Commitment. Doing what you said after the excitement has worn off. Knowing who you are are keep improving your strengths. Know what you are suited to genetically. Commit to excellence and quality. Intensity, 100%. Repetition. Frequency. Innovation. Being elite takes genius, accumulation of fine distinguishing features, unique style, a compulsive obsession, demanding resources, and leaving a legacy or body of work.
Believing
Believing in yourself and a vision for the future is important. Believe that you are a winner and that you are exceptional. Believe that what you have done is not enough. Believing brings a sense of assurance as well as joy and peace even through trial and tribulation. Present with power and full belief.
Questioning
Question everything. Question your views, your ideas, and what you were brought up to believe. Question your mind, your fears. Question the origins of civilisation and systems, scientific fact, the media. Question morals, ethics, norms. Even question this notion. Never stop adapting.
[1] [2]
Question everything. Question your views, your ideas, and what you were brought up to believe. Question your mind, your fears. Question the origins of civilisation and systems, scientific fact, the media. Question morals, ethics, norms. Even question this notion. Never stop adapting.
[1] [2]
Life is Not Fair
I wondered what I should title this entry. The horror. Tragedy. I chose this title because it reflects life, the ups and downs, the highs and lows.
If I said times were tough before, they do not compare to how I felt this week.
This week I felt the most sadness I had experienced in over two years. I was close to tears, but somehow I did not cry. I felt a whole raft of emotions I had not felt for a long time. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Depression. Nothingness. Humiliation. Gone were the happiness and joy I had become accustomed to feeling.
Thoughts rushed through my head. Yet at the same time, thoughts could not be summoned.
A whole series of unfortunate, or some might say unlucky, events conspired, where I missed out on promotion, failed a job interview, fined a large sum of money, lost a lot on the business, suffered computer problems, rejected by others, fell ill, and attacked by vandals amongst other things.
The events may not seem significant. However, they meant a lot to me - it meant so much and thus it hurt so much.
I know these events may seem very minor to some people. I have a friend suffering from a serious illness and I can only sympathise with what he is going through.
---------------------------------------------------
Life is harsh. It is a cruel world. It rewards those who put in the hard yards and get lucky.
For many people around the world, their reality composes of living from day to day. It starts at conception, where an ovarian lottery determines who you are born to and where you are born. The country you are born in and the family you are born into strongly influences your chances in life. This lottery at birth influences your habits, education, wealth, health, and friends. It is made more difficult for people who are ugly, disabled, or of a race that does not fit in.
There are things you can change. You can work hard to lose weight, get educated, etc. However, there are many things that are out of your control. As an example, it is extremely difficult for a child born to a poor family in a poor country to become wealthy.
Take sex as another example. Life is harder being a man. There are no easy ways to have sex on a consistent basis, unless you have fame, money, status, looks or a strong social circle. For most men, it is hard work where the failure rate is very high. Not every woman will like you and many women are fickle.
One must take responsibility. Most people feel their predicament is someone else's fault. Try not to think like that. Understand that opportunity does not come without hard work. Demonstrate passion, enthusiasm, expertise, network in your areas of interest, do the best in the field you are in, and build reputation in your field.
I also reflect upon the brevity of life. How it becomes harder when you are older. How it is over before you know it. As the years pass by, it becomes harder to achieve everything I desire to do, see, and be. I know that this is a limiting belief, but it is also true.
---------------------------------------------------
I must move on from what has happened. I must sit down by myself and with others and work through the issues I am facing. Importantly, I must realise that life is not fair. Personally, I have to do the best I can do, be the best I can be, control what I can control, and let everything else run its course. It may not turn out the way I want. It may not go well. At least I can say that I am doing the best I can do, being the best I can be, and going for it.
If I said times were tough before, they do not compare to how I felt this week.
This week I felt the most sadness I had experienced in over two years. I was close to tears, but somehow I did not cry. I felt a whole raft of emotions I had not felt for a long time. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Depression. Nothingness. Humiliation. Gone were the happiness and joy I had become accustomed to feeling.
Thoughts rushed through my head. Yet at the same time, thoughts could not be summoned.
A whole series of unfortunate, or some might say unlucky, events conspired, where I missed out on promotion, failed a job interview, fined a large sum of money, lost a lot on the business, suffered computer problems, rejected by others, fell ill, and attacked by vandals amongst other things.
The events may not seem significant. However, they meant a lot to me - it meant so much and thus it hurt so much.
I know these events may seem very minor to some people. I have a friend suffering from a serious illness and I can only sympathise with what he is going through.
---------------------------------------------------
Life is harsh. It is a cruel world. It rewards those who put in the hard yards and get lucky.
For many people around the world, their reality composes of living from day to day. It starts at conception, where an ovarian lottery determines who you are born to and where you are born. The country you are born in and the family you are born into strongly influences your chances in life. This lottery at birth influences your habits, education, wealth, health, and friends. It is made more difficult for people who are ugly, disabled, or of a race that does not fit in.
There are things you can change. You can work hard to lose weight, get educated, etc. However, there are many things that are out of your control. As an example, it is extremely difficult for a child born to a poor family in a poor country to become wealthy.
Take sex as another example. Life is harder being a man. There are no easy ways to have sex on a consistent basis, unless you have fame, money, status, looks or a strong social circle. For most men, it is hard work where the failure rate is very high. Not every woman will like you and many women are fickle.
One must take responsibility. Most people feel their predicament is someone else's fault. Try not to think like that. Understand that opportunity does not come without hard work. Demonstrate passion, enthusiasm, expertise, network in your areas of interest, do the best in the field you are in, and build reputation in your field.
I also reflect upon the brevity of life. How it becomes harder when you are older. How it is over before you know it. As the years pass by, it becomes harder to achieve everything I desire to do, see, and be. I know that this is a limiting belief, but it is also true.
---------------------------------------------------
I must move on from what has happened. I must sit down by myself and with others and work through the issues I am facing. Importantly, I must realise that life is not fair. Personally, I have to do the best I can do, be the best I can be, control what I can control, and let everything else run its course. It may not turn out the way I want. It may not go well. At least I can say that I am doing the best I can do, being the best I can be, and going for it.
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