I wondered what I should title this entry. The horror. Tragedy. I chose this title because it reflects life, the ups and downs, the highs and lows.
If I said times were tough before, they do not compare to how I felt this week.
This week I felt the most sadness I had experienced in over two years. I was close to tears, but somehow I did not cry. I felt a whole raft of emotions I had not felt for a long time. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Depression. Nothingness. Humiliation. Gone were the happiness and joy I had become accustomed to feeling.
Thoughts rushed through my head. Yet at the same time, thoughts could not be summoned.
A whole series of unfortunate, or some might say unlucky, events conspired, where I missed out on promotion, failed a job interview, fined a large sum of money, lost a lot on the business, suffered computer problems, rejected by others, fell ill, and attacked by vandals amongst other things.
The events may not seem significant. However, they meant a lot to me - it meant so much and thus it hurt so much.
I know these events may seem very minor to some people. I have a friend suffering from a serious illness and I can only sympathise with what he is going through.
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Life is harsh. It is a cruel world. It rewards those who put in the hard yards and get lucky.
For many people around the world, their reality composes of living from day to day. It starts at conception, where an ovarian lottery determines who you are born to and where you are born. The country you are born in and the family you are born into strongly influences your chances in life. This lottery at birth influences your habits, education, wealth, health, and friends. It is made more difficult for people who are ugly, disabled, or of a race that does not fit in.
There are things you can change. You can work hard to lose weight, get educated, etc. However, there are many things that are out of your control. As an example, it is extremely difficult for a child born to a poor family in a poor country to become wealthy.
Take sex as another example. Life is harder being a man. There are no easy ways to have sex on a consistent basis, unless you have fame, money, status, looks or a strong social circle. For most men, it is hard work where the failure rate is very high. Not every woman will like you and many women are fickle.
One must take responsibility. Most people feel their predicament is someone else's fault. Try not to think like that. Understand that opportunity does not come without hard work. Demonstrate passion, enthusiasm, expertise, network in your areas of interest, do the best in the field you are in, and build reputation in your field.
I also reflect upon the brevity of life. How it becomes harder when you are older. How it is over before you know it. As the years pass by, it becomes harder to achieve everything I desire to do, see, and be. I know that this is a limiting belief, but it is also true.
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I must move on from what has happened. I must sit down by myself and with others and work through the issues I am facing. Importantly, I must realise that life is not fair. Personally, I have to do the best I can do, be the best I can be, control what I can control, and let everything else run its course. It may not turn out the way I want. It may not go well. At least I can say that I am doing the best I can do, being the best I can be, and going for it.
If I said times were tough before, they do not compare to how I felt this week.
This week I felt the most sadness I had experienced in over two years. I was close to tears, but somehow I did not cry. I felt a whole raft of emotions I had not felt for a long time. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Depression. Nothingness. Humiliation. Gone were the happiness and joy I had become accustomed to feeling.
Thoughts rushed through my head. Yet at the same time, thoughts could not be summoned.
A whole series of unfortunate, or some might say unlucky, events conspired, where I missed out on promotion, failed a job interview, fined a large sum of money, lost a lot on the business, suffered computer problems, rejected by others, fell ill, and attacked by vandals amongst other things.
The events may not seem significant. However, they meant a lot to me - it meant so much and thus it hurt so much.
I know these events may seem very minor to some people. I have a friend suffering from a serious illness and I can only sympathise with what he is going through.
---------------------------------------------------
Life is harsh. It is a cruel world. It rewards those who put in the hard yards and get lucky.
For many people around the world, their reality composes of living from day to day. It starts at conception, where an ovarian lottery determines who you are born to and where you are born. The country you are born in and the family you are born into strongly influences your chances in life. This lottery at birth influences your habits, education, wealth, health, and friends. It is made more difficult for people who are ugly, disabled, or of a race that does not fit in.
There are things you can change. You can work hard to lose weight, get educated, etc. However, there are many things that are out of your control. As an example, it is extremely difficult for a child born to a poor family in a poor country to become wealthy.
Take sex as another example. Life is harder being a man. There are no easy ways to have sex on a consistent basis, unless you have fame, money, status, looks or a strong social circle. For most men, it is hard work where the failure rate is very high. Not every woman will like you and many women are fickle.
One must take responsibility. Most people feel their predicament is someone else's fault. Try not to think like that. Understand that opportunity does not come without hard work. Demonstrate passion, enthusiasm, expertise, network in your areas of interest, do the best in the field you are in, and build reputation in your field.
I also reflect upon the brevity of life. How it becomes harder when you are older. How it is over before you know it. As the years pass by, it becomes harder to achieve everything I desire to do, see, and be. I know that this is a limiting belief, but it is also true.
---------------------------------------------------
I must move on from what has happened. I must sit down by myself and with others and work through the issues I am facing. Importantly, I must realise that life is not fair. Personally, I have to do the best I can do, be the best I can be, control what I can control, and let everything else run its course. It may not turn out the way I want. It may not go well. At least I can say that I am doing the best I can do, being the best I can be, and going for it.
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