Put Happiness First

This is a message to myself.

This is something to think about when I catch myself wondering about 'what next'.

Too many of us are always looking for the next thing. We're looking for whatever comes next. We'd be well served living in the present and living the present the way that brings us the most joy, being present to myself and to others. I have achieved most of the goals I set for myself 5 years ago, but am I happy? No.

Knowing that my life is finite, what do I really want to do with the time that I am alive? Ask this rather than what can I accomplish because everything that can be accomplished is ultimately meaningless.

I know what I value most. Happiness.

I must choose to put my happiness first. I neglected it when I was caught up in work and chasing girls. I am responsible for my happiness and how I respond to events.

I know what makes me happy and sad. I need to do more of what makes me happy. I know that I derive over two-thirds of my happiness from fun and social activities. I know that accumulating wealth does not make me happy. I feel happier when I am less stressed, have something to look forward to, catching up with friends and family, listen to new and old songs, and take time out to consider my values and blog each week.

I know doing what makes me happy won't bring me deep and lasting happiness where I am happy no matter what. This is something I have to cultivate through practicing happiness, not pursuing happiness (re: Joy).

Be grateful that I have the opportunity. That I am financially free. That I am not a refugee in the slums.

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I know I do not enjoy working the positions I have had. I am not following my heart. I keep asking myself: what would you do if money were no object and what job are people happiest in. I am seeking a dream job. A perfect life. However, there is no such thing as a perfect job or a perfect partner. This expectation is not realistic and it is unattainable. The vast majority of people will never find a job that can be an unending source of fulfillment. Although a Gap Year or Food Travel documentary is not bad.

Work or volunteering is good for mental stimulation. I prefer two to three days a week. Travel, leadership, intelligence, online is a bonus.

I know there is no point doing a job for 6 months and then searching another similar job when I return from a holiday.

I know that I enjoy connecting with people (especially attractive women and stimulating people), activities and exploring (walking, exercise, travelling, the environment).

I have to focus on improving my social life and going out with friends. At the same time, I have to remember not to pursue anything in extreme amounts as I may become conditioned to need more to be happy.