An Obsession with Wealth

Regardless of whatever wealth we attain, it is never enough. There is always a craving for more.

It is never enough

Wealth has never left me satisfied. When I had $300,000 I was thinking about how to turn it into $1 million. When I had $750,000, I was thinking about turning it into $1.5 million. When I had $1.5 million, I was thinking about turning it into $3 million.

I have a decent passive income and I can live comfortably without additional passive income, but I keep thinking about how to make more. I am continually thinking about how do I make an extra $x per year. It never stops.

I took a moment to ask myself: what if I continue doing what I am doing? I can see myself at 40, not satisfied with where I am and thinking about how I can make the next million. I won't be happy as I have the same 'striving for more' mindset. When will I stop? Never. I can see myself with $15 million thinking about how to turn it into $20 million. I can picture myself on my deathbed crying wishing I had lived and not have lived solely for the endless pursuit of money. The bitter reality is that I am living a tolerable and comfortable existence doing something that is unfulfilling (i.e. making money), which is the worst possible outcome. /This is the cost of inaction/

Many millionaires feel the same way. A profile article on millionaires with a net worth of $1.5 million to $10 million talked about the pressure to keep up with the Joneses, which drives them to work as hard as ever. Nearly all the millionaires in Silicon Valley still work in all-consuming jobs.  Everyone looks at the people above them. It becomes a marathon with no finish line, where the top 1 percent chases the top one-tenth of 1 percent, and the top one-tenth of 1 percent chases the top one-hundredth of 1 percent. You try not to get caught up in it, but it’s hard not to [1].

Most people work until death because they say 'I'll just work until I have $x and then do what I want', but if you don't define the 'what I want' the x figure will increase indefinitely to avoid the fear-inducing uncertainty of this void. We become convinced that just a bit more money will make things right, but these goals are arbitrary moving targets that never end. There is no x amount of dollars in the bank that feels satisfying and we never feel like we have made it as someone else will always have more [2]. According to Financial Samurai, no matter how much you make or have your steady state of happiness won't really change. Sam said that his steady state of happiness has remained the same regardless of the level of wealth he has, there's always another dollar to make, and financial targets will always continue moving. The desire for money is a never ending process until you decide how much is enough. Don’t just make money for money’s sake. Have a clear purpose.

Ulysses Grant couldn't decide what was important to him. He wanted to have more than everyone else and this made him lose sight of his priorities after achieving his goals. The ego sways us and leads us to envy. We waste precious life doing what we don't like and get things we don't want. The more success you have, the more successful people you meet and you pick up the pace.

Only you know what your own path is. You must have a sense of own path without being distracted. Be what you are. Ask 'what's truly important to you' and 'why do you do what you do'. If you don’t, the default becomes more money.

It is common to be a success in business and a failure in life.

I know I must take action now. I can keep doing what I am doing, building wealth, and miss out on life or I can live the life I want. I can keep watching the traveller live the way I want to live or I can do it myself.

What do I want for my youth? Building some apartments or experiencing the world? What do I want to say I have done before I die? How do I want to have lived? What would I be proud of? I want to grasp life and live great experiences and meet fantastic girls and be as fit as Djokovic (Only Young Once). I want to spend half my time gaming and half my time exploring. I have to step up now or the dream just fades away. I have to remember this every day I wake up. This is the last chance I have to hit the level I want as it becomes more physically difficult when I am older. I know I need to find something to keep me active when I am retired (Retirement). The traveller has shown me that I won't ever run out of places to travel. /These are the rewards for action/

After my third townhouse project, I could have said that's it and lived on a basic level of income. However, I said that I will do another project to have a comfortable level of income. Now I get tempted with thoughts of just one more, one more, and it never ends. I am addicted because my mind keeps thinking about it and running scenarios, motivated by greed. For example, the numbers for a project I am considering at present don't even stack up. I don't have enough for a deposit let alone the capital outlay of over $300,000 unless I sell other projects and incur costs, the risk is increased as the LVR is increased and the market cycle has moved on from the bottom, and return on investment is significantly lower than other potential projects.

Meaningless chasing a billion

I won't get really rich ($1 billion or more) before 40 if I continue in property. There is no-one who has achieved this despite all the developments or projects they have undertaken. There are no examples that I know of to follow. Sure, I might make it to $100 million, but I won't be really rich. More importantly, I won't have made a difference on a global scale.

It is pointless chasing $1 billion. Jeff Bezos is worth around $100 billion as of November 2017. With $1 billion, you still have 100 times less wealth than Bezos and you will be affected by the competitive pressure to build more wealth. It is pointless trading or working as it is highly unlikely to make $1 million per year, let alone $10 million [it is possible to make $1 million or more trading per year - 2023]. Precious metals, resources, and alternatives won't make $10 million either as I am not prepared to commit a significant amount into something that is volatile and has no quantifiable downside risk. Shares and property have already had their run and they are both not what I want to be known for. I am over property, especially lower priced property where there are too many issues and low absolute returns. The best chance to achieve $10 million or more is with business and additionally it also can produce the most impact. However, $1 billion is still pointless in the grand scheme of things.

If I wanted to be really rich, I would move into technology, where over 80% of self-made billionaires under 40 made their fortune [3] [4] [5]. However, one must ask, what is the point of being a billionaire as an end in itself? The main reason I can think of is to be able to afford pretty much everything you want for the duration of your lifetime. Many people already can afford what they want without the need to become a billionaire, myself included. I can already live the lifestyle I want so there is no point going for more. Besides, a 'billion' is an arbitrary number and having this as a goal is simply an egotistical pursuit. There are thousands of billionaires on this planet so becoming a billionaire is no longer anything special and does not mean you have accomplished anything of significance. In fact, there are over 300 people with over $5 billion [6] and over 1,500 people with $1 billion. Becoming a billionaire as a side effect of one's mission or using the money for philanthropy can be meaningful and Mark Zuckerberg provides a good example of this through his recent pledge to dedicate almost his entire wealth to noble goals.

Further, there will always be revolt against the wealthy. Growing inequality breeds discontent. In recent times, this has taken the form of campaigns such as the Occupy movement. As Paul Tudor Jones said "Now here’s a macro forecast that’s easy to make and that’s that the gap between the wealthiest and the poorest will get closed. History always does it. It typically happens in one of three ways — either through revolution, higher taxes or wars." As history has proven time and time again, inequality has and will always be curbed, and catastrophe is the only means to achieve it [7].

No happiness

The biggest problem is that building net worth has never brought me happiness. Yet, due to the motivations that caused me to build wealth in the first place, it is easy for me to fall into the trap of continually building more wealth.

The obsession with building wealth is in part attributed to my interest in finance and growth as well as my frugality. I have always been interested in growing net worth. It was what helped me win an online strategy game focused on building net worth when I was younger. I am also influenced by my friends and peers who are building their wealth. Whenever I go on LinkedIn, I feel a competitive spirit, envy, and jealousy that fuels a striving for higher job status and the corresponding financial rewards that come with it. Another motivation for building wealth is the thought that I should have a career or financial goal at 30. Most people at my age are getting started on the road to building a career and getting their finances in order. I have always had financial and career goals, so it feels foreign to me to not have such goals and not follow the crowd, even though I have pretty much accomplished everything I had intended on accomplishing.

Money isn't giving me the true satisfaction in life. It's prudent to have had a goal to establish myself, but I can't get lost in it. Chasing money is making me feel burnt out and leads to bouts of sadness, which will likely lead to depression if I continue down this path. Building a property portfolio doesn't make me happy. Building a startup doesn't make me happy. These thoughts came to me after saying I want to connect to Jesus.

I realise that I am not truly happy and need to take a step back to enjoy life, but I need to find the courage to take action and change course. We only live once. I have one chance, one opportunity, to live before it's too late. I have lost track of what the purpose of life is. Even though I have made money, I realise that I haven't achieved anything significant in life. I haven't really lived the way I like to live. I need to spend time, an year for starters, focused on myself  and appreciate every little thing I have. 

Having wealth also serves to alienate myself from people around me. I feel disconnected from friends who are working. I personally don't know of any self-made friends who have retired by 30 who deliberately choose not to work. There are few people I can relate to and those I know who are in a similar position to me are still striving for even greater wealth.

At the same time while I have focused on building wealth, I have lost touch with community, become more selfish and closed off.

Jeff Haden wrote that it seems that no one he meets, no matter how much money or success they've achieved, is actually rich [8]. They don't feel rich and neither are they happy.

A retired lawyer said that the wealthy partners he worked for were some of the most miserable people he met. Most were on wife number two or three and their wives were constantly worried about being traded-in. Many were estranged from their children and step-children. They really didn't even have any friends. Even their partners at work didn't like them [9]. Similarly in finance, a retired banker said that he met plenty of wealthy, but lonely folks who had let their desire for wealth consume them. Every single one of them regretted working so much in their 20s and 30s, and not working more at finding someone they could come home to [10].

A Princeton study showed that a permanent increase in an individual's income has a transitory effect on well being, even though relative standing would increase. This is because new peers increasingly serve as a reference point and individuals adapt to material goods that yield little joy. Moreover, people's aspirations adapt to their possibilities and the income that people say they need to get along rises with income [11].

Speaking from experience, I have not felt happy working in property and finance and accumulating wealth, no matter what level of wealth I have achieved. The past few years have seen relatively few number of happy days. I feel lucky to have bought property at the bottom of the cycle to set myself up financially rather than spending a few years travelling at that time. I appreciate that I was wise to save money to provide for my basic lifestyle needs, but I don't feel happy. 

In other words, having money provides options for myself to choose the way I wish to live and reduces the worry that arises from a lack of money, but it does not fill the hole I feel within.

Eckhart Tolle wrote that people strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition, or a special relationship, basically so that they can feel better about themselves, feel more complete. But even when they attain all these things, they soon find that the hole is still there, that it is bottomless.

Says Epicurus: "The acquisition of riches has been for many men, not an end, but a change, of troubles."

Time is most precious

A Chinese proverb says: 'An inch of time is an inch of gold, but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.'

Buddha said: "Life is swept along, next-to-nothing its span. For one swept to old age no shelters exist. Perceiving this danger in death, one should drop the world’s bait and look for peace."

Seneca in his letters wrote: away then, with all excuses like: "I have not yet enough; when I have gained the desired amount, then I shall devote myself wholly to philosophy." And yet this ideal, which you are putting off and placing second to other interests, should be secured first of all; you should begin with it. Your plan should be this: be a philosopher now, whether you have anything or not,— for if you have anything, how do you know that you have not too much already?— but if you have nothing, seek understanding first, before anything else. Why of your own accord postpone your real life to the distant future... when you can be rich here and now?

In the end, time is the only thing we have. Everything else, including money and health, for the most part, can be recovered, whereas time can never be recovered. No matter how much money you have, you can't buy time. The pursuit of wealth is in effect perpetual delayed gratification, where I forever delay life, until death arrives. Remember that the worst thing is regret (A Reflection and Regrets). Project yourself to when you are 80 and seek to minimise regret. We regret more the things we don’t do than the things we do end up doing. Ultimately, it is foolish to waste your finite time on this planet to continually chase money, a goal that is infinite and can never be truly satisfied.

The Latin phrase momento mori, 'remember you must die', serves as a stark reminder of the vanity of earthly riches. It provides a reflection on mortality, considering the vanity of earthly life and the transient nature of all earthly goods and pursuits.

I need to ask myself: would I do something if there were no money? Yes -> then do it. No -> then reconsider how important it is.

One day we will all pass away and the wealth we have accumulated will be meaningless. We cannot take the wealth away with us and we will not know what will happen to it after we are gone (The System). So why should we concentrate all our efforts on building wealth?

Moving Out

I am struggling. My mental state is weak and I succumb to addiction and despair.

I moved out of home for the first time six weeks ago and it is more difficult than I had envisaged.

I wasted a lot of time on mundane matters, which I should have been more decisive on. It took me over 15 property inspections to find a place to live and many days searching online for properties to rent, when I should have picked a place to live sooner. I spent days looking for other guys to go out with before I could find a few who go out on a regular basis, even though I know that it's not my goal to make new friends that would be difficult to keep in contact with due to location. I have built a small social circle and had a few dates, but overall it has been disappointing as I expected to easily find a crew of friends to go out with and have heaps of girls. I spent days contacting teams and sports centres about joining a football team, when I should have allocated times of the week to this task. I have found a few football teams, but I am not sure how they will go. I also went away for two weeks, which broke the momentum that I had.

I was sucked into working after I moved out. When I did the math, I couldn't believe that I am contemplating working for another ten weeks and only earning $3,500 when it makes such a small difference to me. My friends are earning on average $150,000 per year and I am considering working for so little. Granted, I did learn some lessons in my job and my time at work has not been bad. However, the part time sales role I am doing makes me neither happy nor sad and it is not my goal. This aspect is critical for me because working will take away time from my goals, which are so important to me. Now is the most important time I have. I am not here to make $3,500. I am here for a reason.

I have no career goals. Even if I were working a full time job earning an average wage, I would only make around $13,000 net after tax after 3 months, which is less than 1% of my net worth. Even with a $1,000,000 salary, I would only make the same money after tax as a project. As such, I don't see a point to working a job that I do temporarily. I have no fitness goals as I achieved everything I wanted. I also cannot get sidetracked by looking at what others are doing and their goals and just pursuing that for the sake of it, without considering what I want (Updated March 2017).

Even though I am wealthy, I don't feel rich at all. I am living a fairly cheap lifestyle and carefully watching my spending patterns. Having a few properties vacant adds to the torture. I am losing money every week and it is painful.

I tried some techniques such as making my bed in the morning and meditating for ten days but it didn't help. The guided meditation relaxed my mind and made me calmer for a while, but I didn't see other benefits afterwards. Lots of everyday activities take more time than expected, such as cooking, cleaning up, washing the clothes, and shopping. I am also distracted by news, email, and websites.

Complications have arisen that make my goals more difficult to achieve. I injured my shin this week and it is debilitating. Winning a football tournament is my ultimate goal, but now it may be put on hold while I await news about the severity of the injury. I want to learn intimacy, to be comfortable with touch. I want to really love myself, which I am not doing enough of right now. I want to learn to love everyone and accept others, regardless of whether they are good to me or not.

I know that time is ticking. This is the biggest motivator that will help me achieve my goals. I know that I have around ten weeks to go before I leave. I need to be continuously learning and keeping the goals I have front and centre of my mind.

I don't set goals because they are easy. My goals are what I want to achieve. I know there will be ups and downs. There will be many struggles. To get there I have to struggle, learn and get better quickly.

I know deep down I can achieve my goals. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

Death

Everyone is dying. It is happening right now. Each day you live takes you one step closer to death.

Dying is not necessarily a bad thing. Death is not to be feared. Illness is not a failure.

Death education does not receive much coverage at present. However, it is a more important discussion than euthanasia, which is centred around fear. A death counsellor said that she had never seen a person die badly or in pain after counselling them.

The dying express feelings, such as fear or perhaps a desire to extend their life further. It is important to give the dying dignity and advise them that they can still make choices. Find out what the dying person wants to do. Do not judge them but love them. Denial by friends and family can create terror and loneliness. Giving the dying permission to die is more loving.

Generally people die the same way unless death comes suddenly. Initially, there is a loss of energy (setting sun). Then the person does not need food or water (tide goes out), and the heat goes out of the body and feet, and the body dries out (dry desert). Finally there is the loss of breath, where the fear is greatest and dying is imminent.

Death is better when the dying stay in control of the process and accept. Raw honesty from medical professionals is preferable. The dying need to be empowered, not in denial.

Have conversations about dying before you die. These conversations can be fun, not morbid. Some steps to take are a detailed will, funeral plan, or writing a letter for your children and family. Ask how you want to be remembered.

Life after death is a mystery. Some people have experienced near death experiences. Among these experiences are witnessing your body on the operating theatre, a white light, and flashes of past memories that cannot be explained by modern science. These occurrences show that no-one really knows what lies beyond this life.

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The important lesson for the living is to live your life to the fullest. Don't have a single moment of regret. Live well because of death.

There's no time. The time is now. Around 20% of people in the developed world die before 65. You have to do it now. Travel the world if you so desire. You don't know if you have tomorrow.

Live as if there is no tomorrow. Wrote a eulogy with a list. Do not put it off. Live with integrity, life with compassion and kindness. Work well in the pond you are in. Don't care about how people behave or act.

The regrets of the dying are relevant. People have things they didn't get to say or things they didn't get to do. 

Love and Hate

Love makes people happy.

Think about someone saying 'I love life' or 'I'd love to have some Mexican food tonight'. Love arouses feelings of happiness.

Beyond the routine of needs, fulfillment, experience, love, understanding, happiness, and rapture make a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient, and a part of the world.

Love is the highest goal to which one can aspire to. Viktor Frankl opined that the salvation of man is through love and in love. The Bible states that God is love and out of hope, faith, and love, the greatest is love. Human poetry is almost exclusively about love. The majority of songs are about love.

The Golden Rule sets the template for love. Love all creatures. Don't hate those who hate; otherwise you become like them. I make an effort to live by the Golden Rule, despite my human shortcomings.

Love is simple. It is not as complicated as some make it out to be. Anyone in the world can experience love, regardless of their intellect.

Love can be cultivated. It is possible to make strangers fall in love by sitting face to face, answering a series of increasingly personal questions, and staring silently into each other’s eyes [1].

At present the only person I truly love is my mum. I know I love being with nature and people. Stress and tension disappear when I am with nature and I know it's something I miss when I neglect it. Being with friends was my number one driver of happiness.

Hate, regret, and jealousy are a waste of time and do not bring happiness. Most negative emotions are useless. Resentment, bitterness, hate, and jealousy do not improve the quality of life.

I can see why people may not reply or reject me. Some people get bombarded with messages and I am simply a random person. If I submit to the compulsion of contacting someone who is not interested in me, it only increases the craving to reconnect and fuels a misguided and self-defeating belief that we'll get back together. There is no benefit for me in sending hateful words or harassing them. It is a waste of my time and emotion.

Jealously arises from a lack of self esteem. I have to get my priorities right and control jealous feelings. It's not about getting someone to be with me. It's about looking after myself and putting my happiness first. I have had too many sad times from pursuing sexual desires that were not reciprocated and frustration from a night out. I vow to not let other people affect my happiness.

Open Mind Open Heart

I need to keep an open mind. Be curious about the world and keep learning. Sometimes, I think I know it all or have seen it all. I can be quick to push opinions aside. I am sometimes closed off to events I would have previously being open to. I may be right in my opinion and I don't need to accept every invitation. However, I should be open to possibilities. The truth is that what I know is minuscule.

It is better to make curiosity a habit. Try something new each week. Meet someone new each day. Have conversations to really immerse yourself in other people's lives. A good way to start is asking how people end up where they are. These things help in broadening your experience and perspective as well as adding a bit of fun in the day.

I have also been feeling a cacophony of emotions. Being aware brings light to emotions that I did not know were there. In recent times, I felt melancholy, teariness, tenseness. I am not sad though. Sometimes I cannot identify the source. Mindfulness alleviates these negative emotions. These emotions can quickly flip. I often feel emboldened, motivated, inspired.

I also feel unsatisfied desires and know I need to work hard to make my desires a reality.

Put Happiness First

This is a message to myself.

This is something to think about when I catch myself wondering about 'what next'.

Too many of us are always looking for the next thing. We're looking for whatever comes next. We'd be well served living in the present and living the present the way that brings us the most joy, being present to myself and to others. I have achieved most of the goals I set for myself 5 years ago, but am I happy? No.

Knowing that my life is finite, what do I really want to do with the time that I am alive? Ask this rather than what can I accomplish because everything that can be accomplished is ultimately meaningless.

I know what I value most. Happiness.

I must choose to put my happiness first. I neglected it when I was caught up in work and chasing girls. I am responsible for my happiness and how I respond to events.

I know what makes me happy and sad. I need to do more of what makes me happy. I know that I derive over two-thirds of my happiness from fun and social activities. I know that accumulating wealth does not make me happy. I feel happier when I am less stressed, have something to look forward to, catching up with friends and family, listen to new and old songs, and take time out to consider my values and blog each week.

I know doing what makes me happy won't bring me deep and lasting happiness where I am happy no matter what. This is something I have to cultivate through practicing happiness, not pursuing happiness (re: Joy).

Be grateful that I have the opportunity. That I am financially free. That I am not a refugee in the slums.

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I know I do not enjoy working the positions I have had. I am not following my heart. I keep asking myself: what would you do if money were no object and what job are people happiest in. I am seeking a dream job. A perfect life. However, there is no such thing as a perfect job or a perfect partner. This expectation is not realistic and it is unattainable. The vast majority of people will never find a job that can be an unending source of fulfillment. Although a Gap Year or Food Travel documentary is not bad.

Work or volunteering is good for mental stimulation. I prefer two to three days a week. Travel, leadership, intelligence, online is a bonus.

I know there is no point doing a job for 6 months and then searching another similar job when I return from a holiday.

I know that I enjoy connecting with people (especially attractive women and stimulating people), activities and exploring (walking, exercise, travelling, the environment).

I have to focus on improving my social life and going out with friends. At the same time, I have to remember not to pursue anything in extreme amounts as I may become conditioned to need more to be happy.

The Only Opportunity We Know

As a living human being, we have been given a beautiful opportunity to live. I do not know why we have been given this opportunity. I do not know if we were created or evolved. I simply know that I am here. I exist right now.

I was born a human to [insert names], on planet Earth, in the country known as Australia, in 1985AD.

I do not know if I will ever be given this opportunity again.

If there is something I want to do, it is better to do it now, unless there is a good reason to wait or not to do it.

Time is very brief. I don't know when the music stops. Time is always ticking. I am humble in the knowledge that my life as well as all life on this planet is finite. My time is the most important resource I have because it is finite, whereas something like money is infinite. My life is always ticking closer to the end.

One day the door will close on my life. Nothing I can do will ever bring back time, no matter how hard I try.

Knowing this, I resolve to not over sleep. Live each day to the maximum. Live with a sense of resolve. I only have a brief time on this planet. Life is too short for hate. Life is too short for negativity.

Now is the time to live. I only have so many years. I must live with vigour and joy; and resolve not to be frugal or selfish.

Do what we love while we can. I have lived but not always in the way I want. I have to ask myself how do I see myself living. I have to decide what I want and what I don't want, what I want to be and what journey I am after. The decision will be based on the circumstance I am in and what I know and don't know.

Often we are influenced. It is common for people to define you according to what they think or believe. Often, these are people who are not living their dream, who are not loving life, who are not happy and healthy and well off. The same goes for news articles, media or any source of information we consume as they are likely written by people who are not living the life we want to live.  As such, these people do not have any authority to dictate my life. It is more beneficial to listen to people who are already at where I want to be. External forces may mean well, but they may not be what I want.

I am not right or wrong. There is no right or wrong. It is simply one's perspective. I believe that the only rule is to not seriously harm others. In the end, I am the only one who decides.

Early retirement is not the goal. Living the way I want is.

I have One Life. One God Breathed Life. To make it happen. Am I going to choose to live?