Happiness

Of late countless research studies have been conducted into happiness. It seems that people the world over are seeking happiness.

Every happy person has close, supportive relationships - without exception. You can build those relationships by being grateful, by helping other people, by taking care of them and they are going to take care of you.

Essentially, there are three pillars of happiness: pleasure, engagement, and meaning. I have compiled a list of happiness drivers based on the research. The brackets denote the number of research articles the driver is mentioned in.

• Good close relationships and socialising with happy people (including marriage) (16)
• Good healthy bodies and diet (9)
• Spiritual practice or belief entailing support, purpose and acceptance (8)
• Random acts of kindness, doing good, generosity, giving, community volunteering (7)
• Active leisure pursuits for both mind and body (as opposed to passive indulgences such as watching TV) (6)
• Enough money (6)
• Realistic and clear goals (6)
• Optimism and pretend happiness, smiling and laughing, counting blessings, positive outlook, resilience and bouncing back from problems, set aside stress (5)
• Living in the now and enjoying the present, mindfulness, accept and appreciate pain, acknowledge sadness (4)
• Focus on controlling your own actions and activities (4)
• Sound sleep and rest (3)
• Rewarding, meaningful, and challenging work, mastery of skills (3)
• Buy experiences, not possessions (along with the anticipation of the experience) (3)
• Sex (2)
• Playing with children (2)
• Self-esteem (2)
• Learning and growing, education (2)
• Frequent small pleasures (including renting something you enjoy)
• Don't chase happiness
• Emphasise strengths
• Read newspapers
• Meals out
• Play sports
• Outgoing personality
• Balance sensory pleasures and achievement activities
• Forgive oneself and others
• Gratitude, loving kindness
• Meditation, prayer, surrender
• Byproduct of other activities
• Sunshine
• Connect with supervisors

Tragedy in Zimbabwe

The rising death toll from the latest mishap to strike Zimbabwe has turned the once comparatively economically developed country into a full scale international emergency. The cholera and anthrax outbreak compounds a country already in abject poverty.

The facts are bare. Zimbabwe's cities and towns have gone without fresh water for months. People are dying at an alarming rate. The outbreak comes at a time when Zimbabwe is facing government mismanagement, hyperinflation, drought, and disease.

Other equally tragic events occurring across the world. The systematic raping of seven out of ten women in the Democratic Republic of Congo has left many HIV-positive and pregnant. Agencies estimate that 75 per cent of all rape cases worldwide take place in Congo. Similarly, Sudan, Iraq, and Somalia are gripped by war which has left hundreds of thousands of casualties.

Me Today

What do I really want in life? I have experienced it all. The smarts, jobs, investments, faith, health, friends, girls, and now the most unbelievable speech. There was the confidence, the body language, the executives, the occasion. The speech I gave today filled me with jubilation. I felt incredible. Sheer joy.

But it's not just about the achievements. It's about the deep happiness within. This is what matters at the end of the day.

Update (28/6/2010): I have many attractive attributes. I am the complete package. I am confident, happy, tall, fit, intelligent, ambitious, rich, honest, open minded, adventurous and fun. I have achieved a lot of things I wanted to achieve. Sure, there are many more still to be achieved, but what I have done is great.

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Some points of interest:

Climate Change. The majority of climate scientists agree that global warming is primarily caused by human activities such as fossil fuel burning and deforestation. The conclusion that global warming is mainly caused by human activity and will continue if greenhouse gas emissions are not reduced has been endorsed by at least 30 scientific societies and academies of science.

Emotional intelligence. Unlike normal intelligence, emotional intelligence can be repeatedly taught but difficult to draw upon when the situation arises. Although like normal intelligence, practice makes perfect. A person's emotional state is communicated throughout the body via the brain and the heart.

Feeling emotionless. There are times in life where feelings are inexplicable. This is the time where you are most vulnerable and the answers you come up with will need to be carefully analysed later.

Being influenced. Any event large or small can influence you. Like the song that is playing or a meal that you are eating. Small things that can trigger a change in mood for good or bad. These events and situations may subconsciously affect your mind, your disposition and your self worth.

Clarity. It is beneficial to voice what is on my mind and put pen to paper when evaluating a decision. Voicing the situation makes things clearer. On the other hand, being on the computer can easily distract.

Freedom. People who are free do what they want. They do not necessarily conform to society's bounds. They move unhindered by popular opinion. What is important here is the ability of these individuals to stand up for what they believe in despite what others may think.

Innovation. Although, these concepts are nebulous and mean different things to different people, they are essentially about improvement. Google Street View is a tribute to the continuous pushing of the envelope of imagination.

Invention. Electricity, the greatest invention. It has absolutely transformed the world as we know it and enabled many other inventions to follow. Other notable inventions include the wheel and computing.


Memory. Memory is our essence. Without memory, it is as being unconscious. Memory gives us a being.

Organisations and You

Organisations have visions.

Effective organisations lay out mission statements, targets, and objectives in their corporate and business plans. They set goals, develop measures, and identify challenges. Each year they review these in annual reports.

I raise the question, if people work so hard in developing an organisation's future, what are they doing for themselves? Do we set the same targets and objectives in our lives? How much effort are we putting into developing and reviewing ourselves when our life is our most important asset?

For The Love Of Quotes

This year I have developed a love for the art of quotations. Quoations are simple, eloquent ways of capturing an ideal, an essence, or a whole movement. This entry will list notable quotes I have come across.

• "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." - King Solomon
• “Those who have knowledge don’t predict. Those who predict don’t have knowledge.” - Lao Tzu
• "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss / Bernard Baruch
• "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
• "Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
• "Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich." - Lao Tzu
• "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." — Mahatma Gandhi
• “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” ― William Shakespeare
• “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ― Mother Teresa
• "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett
• "I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best." - John Keats
• "Never look back in regret but to move on to the next thing. The amount of time people waste dwelling on failures rather than putting that energy into another project always amazes me. I have had fun running all of the Virgin businesses, so I never see a setback as bad experience; it is just a learning curve." - Richard Branson
• "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be." - Eckhart Tolle
• "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." - Abraham Lincoln
• "The only thing I must remember is my self worth (and that my time is my most precious and least renewable asset)."

All About Confidence

Confidence is the magic word. It is a key ingredient in success but missing in a lot of people. It is essential to climb the corporate ladder but difficult to apply. It is a powerful trait. It is masterful.

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To understand something well takes research. One of the first steps is understanding the definition.

According to the Collins, Oxford, Merriam-Webster, Webster, American Heritage, Encarta, and Wiktionary dictionaries, the most often mentioned definitions about confidence are self trust and assurance.

What is confident behaviour?

1. It is doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticise you for it.
2. It is being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.

These can be measured by:

1. Willingness and comfort to make a point that may draw attention to yourself.
2. Willingness and comfort to step outside your comfort zone or try new situations.

How do you become confident?

1. Emphasise strengths: look at your achievements, strengths, goals, and commit to them
2. Take risks: build knowledge, focus on the basics
3. Self talk: manage your mind by positive thinking
4. Self evaluate: set goals and achieve them, celebrate successes

Importantly, you gain confidence from doing (experience) by not being afraid to go outside your comfort zone, make mistakes and learn from them.

Specialising

To excel in something, you must specialise.

People in the top of their league all specialise.

You don't see the best politicians also being the best carpenters. You don't see the best sailors being the best gymnasts. You don't see the best pentathletes being the best in each of the five sports they participate in when competing against specialists in each of the individual sports. (The exception is where they have specialised in one field and then moved on to specialise in the next.)

Specialisation takes time and focus. Focus on one thing at a time. Put all your energies into one field and do the best that you can in it.

The four burners analogy is apt. There are four burners in life which represent what is important to you. For example, one burner represents your family, one is your friends, the third is your health and the fourth is your work. The gist is that in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two.

Empty Times

Love is crazy.

The last week has been uncharacteristically difficult for me. Even though it's been over a week since a girl I have been seeing has left me, I still feel an emptiness in my soul. I reminisce over her. I whisper break up songs in my head.

I know I should move on. But it's hard and it takes time.

This week I also heard a false rumour that another girl I pushed for a relationship with a while ago was now seeing someone. Although it later turned out to be false, I still felt a deep empty melancholy as all the past memories came flooding back.

It's times like these which can bring out the best in you. I truly believe that in moments of despair comes opportunity as there is no failure, only learning.

For me, I resolved to rectify the problems I had with myself. I resolved to never be a wimp again (which I was when around the second girl mentioned above). I resolved to be the confident individual in everything I do.

It's Always On

Do you think Roger Federer gives an unseeded opponent a chance? Do you think Mohammed Ali, Tiger Woods, and any other sporting immortal will give their opponents a sniff of victory?

Not a chance.

Whatever you do in life. Whatever the occasion might be. It's always on.

When it comes to speaking, you don't just give 100% in the big stage presentations. You give 100% all the time. When you are speaking to the supermarket cashier. When you are in a party with mates. There's never 50%. There's never 70%. It's always on.

You perform at 100% even when you have had a bad day. Even when you have been punished in your workplace. Even when you just failed big time. You step up again and give it 100%. 100% all the time. The most successful people fail time and time again. You have to know that with failure comes experience, and experience wisdom, and then giving it 100% again brings you closer to success.

It's always on.

Three Core Values

Three core values for business and life in general.

People. Knowledge. Passion.

Fading into Normality

Lately, by which I mean the last fortnight or so, I have succumbed to the trappings of easy street. Like many before me, I have fallen into the so called 'comfortable' life. The 'comfortable' life is a life where one might work a stable well paid nine to five job, eat the fruits of its labour, and take a vacation every now and then. It is epitomised by ideals such as education, career, marriage, children, material possessions, and finally, death.

Living a normal or 'comfortable' life only conforms to society's expectations. People are addicted to certainty. The trap is that it does not inspire risk taking or excellence.

Too many people I know are getting sucked in. This is where you may have a full time job, stable relationship, but no real happiness. Not much more going on in life except work and the daily grind. I see it in a lot of people aged between 25-60. Don't let that happen. Life is there to be enjoyed.

I, myself, must work to break through the 'comfortable' life. Ignoring tiredness by being constantly active. Ignoring vain status by doing the unconventional. Ignoring the normality of it all. After all, the best life I can live is the extraordinary.

Living only in subsistence is a violation of growth.

Greed or Prosperity

Across the spectre of time, individuals the world over have sought the splendour of riches and the comfort it brings. Wealth, or the pursuit thereof, is and has been the sole purpose of many people's existence. This transcending fixation of many has led to much striving and given birth to the ideals of capitalism.

Unlike what some may argue, money is not the root of all evil. Wealth is a prerequisite to satisfy our basic needs. In additional doses, it provides for certain luxuries in life. However, the preoccupation with wealth has led to greed. Greed is the motive behind the notion that happiness is a constant cycle of amassing 'a little bit more'. Greed is the reason why some of the world's wealthy live in extreme excess while the poor live in poverty and are malnutritioned. Greed is the reason why the most developed nations donate less than 0.7% of GDP to the most impoverished nations.

Wealth for united prosperity's sake is good. Greed, perhaps not.

Fallout

The collapse of Lehman Brothers sparked widespread fear amongst investors as Wall Street suffered its biggest one day loss since September 11. The failure of the last ditch effort to save one of the world's preeminent veritable financial institutions coupled with the shotgun sale of Merrill Lynch has caused great uncertainty. For now, the future of the world financial markets remains a mystery.

Questions over how far reaching this crisis will spread and which organisation is the next to go are unanswered and will continue to be raised. There is no doubt that the world as a whole is still loaded with debt. The process of unwinding this debt will take some time.

The consequences of the fallout from the contagion may well be immensely severe.

You Don't Know What It Feels Like Until You Experience It

On the courtyards of an antiquated majestic Catholic Church I sat and pondered. I drew my mind back to recent news I came across about a pastor I had respect for covering up a lie he lived. It was only then it struck me about the seriousness of the sexual abuse cases committed by clergy members. In that moment, I suddenly realised, to a small extent, the hurt the victims suffered.

After walking a short distance from the church I saw a contrast of scenes. In one corner was a man covered in worn out blankets sleeping in the bench of a hut. In the other, were a laughing couple driving by in a Mercedes convertible.

There are many cases where we as humans cannot empathise with one another. We may think we can and do, but the truth is, until you experience what the other person is going through, it is difficult to fully comprenhend each other's victories, trials, and tribulations.

The Big Picture

Small things are important; big things are important, if not more so. That is why it is important to have a 'Big Picture' focus.

The Big Picture is a simple concise overview of you. An overview of where you have been, where you are, where you are going. It includes what matters to you - your mission, your goals, your achievements, your concerns.

1. Decide who you are, your purpose and mission, your core beliefs and values.
2. Write down your goals and ideal future. Where do you want to be 5 years from now? Analyse your SWOT, concerns, challenges, conflicts, negative emotions, limiting decisions and costs and benefits for the main areas of your life you want to focus on.
3. Identify the actions you take to make your ideal future a reality (as well as the actions you have to avoid). Focus on the actions you need to take by applying the (Steps to Success). Create a supportive environment to help you including habits, tools, and advice.

The Big Picture serves as a reference point for any time, any moment - it can be referred to when you are feeling elevated, static, disillusioned. It is a motivational tool. It is an encouragement tool. It is a map for my life.

At present my Big Picture is:

• Just do 'Likable Communication'
• Useless not living confidently
• Why let little things or anything ever interfere with happiness?
• Serve God

Growth

Another day. Another realisation.

I am obsessed with growth.

I have always been.

That is why I love my economics, investments, statistics, and sport. I like observing how companies grow. I like forecasting the growth of a country’s GDP. I like understanding the growth of medical science.

Without growth you are essentially stuck. You don't learn anything. You are stuck in a comfort zone where you don't develop.

Growth is progress.


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The Olympic Games provide excellent examples of people growing. I heard one commentator say how he has seen this one athlete grow a lifetime over two days. It is incredible to watch not just the growth in physical ability of an athlete, but also the growth in mind and character. The Games provides these opportunities for athletes to step up and become the better person whilst in the process realising their dreams.

Growth is progress.

Lessons and Education

I have learnt a lot about myself, social groups, and people in general over the past few months. Through it all I have come to better understand myself and accept myself for who I am.

What I have learnt does not come through the conventional schooling system, but through other 'classes' of education. These can come in many forms and can include personal understanding, emotional intelligence, creativity, entrepreneurship, and religous studies. Despite the lack of teaching, these classes of education are as important, if not more so, than the standard intrinsic model of education.


Even though I have learnt many lessons, I am still susceptible to tough times. This is a human characteristic - we all are susceptible whether we like it or not.

In times like these, voicing our concerns and situation is emotionally beneficial. It clarifies who we are, what the situation is, and where we are going. We hear our raw emotions. We sense our real feelings. We see the clear difference there is between heart and mind.

I did just that two days ago and penned them down.

"Am I getting too obsessed with such small matters?
Is my heart that weak?
All I feel is this lingering sadness.
I push it to one side and it comes back."

It takes time. It takes resolve. To deal with these matters. Knowing yourself, voicing the problems, and developing solutions in due course helps.

The World Is Not Enough

The World Is Not Enough, the title of a classic James Bond film, epitomises a deep interest inside me to go beyond society's boundaries. The way I see it we all only have one life, so why limit it?

Many individuals of valour, courage, and strength have had this same vision, gone the distance, pushed it, and succeeded. Without them, the world as we know it would be a different place.

“At the age of seven, a young boy and his family were forced out of their home. The boy had to work to support his family. At the age of nine, his mother passed away. When he grew up, the young man was keen to go to law school, but had no education.

At 22, he lost his job as a store clerk. At 23, he ran for state legislature and lost. The same year, he went into business. It failed, leaving him with a debt that took him 17 years to repay. At 27, he had a nervous breakdown.

Two years later, he tried for the post of speaker in his state legislature. He lost. At 31, he was defeated in his attempt to become an elector. By 35, he had been defeated twice while running for Congress. Finally, he did manage to secure a brief term in Congress, but at 39 he lost his re-election bid.

At 41, his four-year-old son died. At 42, he was rejected as a prospective land officer. At 45, he ran for the Senate and lost. Two years later, he lost the vice presidential nomination. At 49, he ran for Senate and lost again.At 51, he was elected the President of the United States of America.

The man in question: Abraham Lincoln.”

Goals

Setting goals in life gives us direction and rejuvenates ourselves.

I aspire to spend my whole life travelling with wonderful people whilst being connected with intellectual and spiritual material. Although not documented here, I have goals for my career and I have a burning desire to achieve something big.

For a goal to be effective it should be specific, measurable, achievable, and hurt a bit. Setting time frames around goals is also useful.

There is nothing wrong with having goals or no goals. It is good to have an idea where I see myself 1 year from now and perhaps 10 years from now, but things change.

The Journey is the Success

Life is a journey. A beautiful journey.

I love to travel. The journey of travelling.

Success is not just the end game, but it is the journey itself.

Drilling

Bus trips are a wonderful thing. Commuters have the choice to make the trip whatever they so desire. Unbeknownst to many, they are filled with opportunities. Commuters can choose to gripe about how long the journey takes, reflect upon own circumstances, read a novel, or talk to strangers. There are not many times when one has the time and flexiblity to do all this.

Yesterday on a long bus trip, I came upon the concept of drilling. I found that drilling reinforces traits and behaviours. I used drilling to build conviction, i.e. a strong belief or feeling of certainty.

I am a confident individual.
I have full of faith in myself.

I do not let what others say or do affect me or hurt me.
I am not dependent on others. (dependency is a bad word)
I know it. I accept it. I am working on it. (where 'it' can represent 'myself', 'my faults', etc.)

Confidence Confidence Confidence Fun

Confidence. I cannot underscore the importance of confidence enough.

Confidence is the key ingredient in success. Successful organisations are built upon bold leaders. Leaders who are confident. Successful individuals are built upon a strong inner frame. A frame of mind that is confident. I have witnessed first hand confident individuals at work in board meetings, business projects, social gatherings, and bars.

There is no doubt that there are many other attributes which make up a successful individual. Education, teamwork, vision, communication, and drive are prerequisites for many success stories, but many possess such attributes. The differentiating attribute is confidence.

Sprinkle fun with balanced confidence and you create the essence of a sociable individual, a likable character, a strong leader. Side benefits soon start becoming more evident including non-neediness, control, and sociability.

As a side note, I have heard that whatever you need in life will control your life. The person who needs nothing cannot be manipulated. The abundant person on the other hand has plenty to go around and is more attractive.

Love Songs

One may make fun of or even mock the number of love songs played on the radio. It is easy to label them as 'soppy' or 'mushy'. I do not deny that love songs are 'soppy', however, they play an integral part of our existence.

I realise that love is an intrinsic emotion that ties us together. Inside, we as humans, all crave love, dream of love won, cry at love lost. Although some may not like to admit it, love is one of the most powerful emotions we have. We can relate to at a deeper level. It has the power to touch others and move others, to destroy us from within, to create exhilaration.

Offence Against Ignorance

The cyclone in Myanmar has left over 22,000 dead, with predictions that the death toll could be as high as 100,000. According to the UN, around 5,000 square kilometres remain underwater, and more than a million homeless need emergency relief. Food prices have skyrocketed and petrol prices have doubled.

This is one of the worst natural disasters in recent history.

Yet, despite the enormity of the destruction, aid is only slowly trickling in. The world governments may be cynical about the ruling military junta, but the effort deployed in assisting those most in need is far too insignificant. There has been no substantive coordinated approach from the world to deal with this crisis. All efforts must be made to overcome any political roadblocks and deliver aid to the desperate survivors.

Blame must also be apportioned to the media who have not given enough coverage to the disaster. It is disappointing to witness the ignorance of those capable of assisting.

Qualities of a Leader

A leader EMPOWERS OTHERS by BUILDING PEOPLE AND MAKING THEM SUCCESSFUL.

Qualities of a Leader:

• Influences people by providing others with self-determination, confidence, purpose in work, and skills
• Asks if the right people are in the right roles, communicates personally with the team in a way each member of the team connects with and finds out how they each like to be managed
• Brings in and initiates new ideas after thoughtful consideration
• Makes the team feel energised, valued, focused and purposeful, building a curious tension in guiding the team towards a shared vision
• Provide people with progression opportunities, respect and support, compensation, and a challenge

To succeed one needs to:

• Have ambition, courage, and drive
• Have intelligence of the context combined with strategic action by identifying strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats
• Build strong networks by being likable with everyone who they associate with including managers and employees alike

There is a difference between leadership and management. Management is more about the people and processes and products.

McKinsey found was that leaders in organizations with high-quality leadership teams were supportive, operated with strong results orientation, sought different perspectives and solved problems effectively.

Life

What will be said of your name if it were to be found in a dictionary? What will you have accomplished?

I feel a chill down my spine when I think of this very thought. It makes me understand my purpose in life and where I want to go. It gives me strength to figure out the 'how' in getting to where I want to go.

Make the most of life.

Update (14/12/10): I penned down what I want to be remembered for.

* was an amazing man, a wonderful father, a true gentleman, an inspiration to so many.

He battled through difficult times to become a success.

* worked hard to become who he was. He grew up from humble beginnings. From an early age he learnt the hard way what it took to succeed. He studied hard to gain entry into a prestigious course, worked in government and finance before venturing out and creating an empire.

What shone through with * is his determination to succeed. No matter what happened he never gave up, he was optimistic, and he dared to believe. * believed in creating the future, that everything is vanity, and that life was there to to be enjoyed.

* played hard. He was very competitive, but in a good way. * loved exploring, loved travelling, and loved helping others.

* was always there for his family and friends, his loving wife and children, and the wider global community. He always thought about other people, and did what he could to improve their lives. This was encapsulated by the time and energy he devoted to those less fortunate. Through his actions, many of the poor today face a brighter future.

Three Great Americans

Speaking is an art form. Language is a beautiful liquid. Orators have a responsibility to their audience to deliver consistently beautiful art.

What all of the following orators had was an 'incredible emotional connection'. It's not just about the facts. One component is their delivery - they are all individually defined and strong.

Abraham Lincoln - Gettysburg Address. The three minute address is considered one of the best examples of public speaking in history.

Martin Luther King. Enough said.

Bill Clinton a classic example of modern speaking at its highest level.

On Ambition

Ambition is a goal. People either make it or they don't. People who make it have ambition.

Broad Thinking

A dream has evoked ideologies about the state of the world we reside in. In this dream, I was part of a large group of people rationed food by our superiors. We fought with each other to quickly grasp onto whatever was supplied to us.

With problems such as the subprime crisis and riots due to rising food prices, one has to be mindful of the good times that most of the world's citizens have enjoyed in recent years when compared with many previous episodes in history.