Rethinking Aid

I recently watched a thought provoking video showing the strong correlation between countries with high GDP and low child mortality rates. This would suggest that one method to assist developing countries is improving infant health.

Solving the aid dilemma is not easy. There are many options. Money to fund research into disease prevention, loans to small businesses, creation of new schools, diplomacy to influence government policy. But which is the best option?

The best option is to align with what is best for the people.  It may not be purely economic or exactly what the people ask for.  At the heart of it, the aim is to eliminate poverty, satisfying their physiological needs, so that people can provide for themselves and that is good enough.

Nations that have managed to lift themselves out of poverty have done so mostly with trade, not aid - with giving people jobs and a ladder, not handouts and an elevator. There is no proof that aid drives economic growth, however health-related aid and aid in the aftermath of a disaster do saves lives. It is most effective to help people help themselves through education, learning to make a living and save, by helping people find their own ways to support their families while having the essential services to provide for the basic needs. 

Bettering Personal Bests

My results are all that I can control.

I know that if I achieve a certain result, then I will probably win.

This is how an elite athlete or swimmer thinks.

Their race is all they can control and focus on. When they achieve a certain time, they know that they will probably win. It does not matter what other people do.

So go out there and better your personal bests.

Mindset

Your mind is your most important asset.

Your mind dictates the reality you live in.

It has the capacity to affect everything you believe possible and it can be trained to improve yourself in all areas of your life.

The way you think determines the direction of your life. Everyone sees the same situation from different perspectives. The way you see and hence approach the situation (or in other words having the right mindset leading to taking responsibility) greatly influences your outcome.

You have to be aware of how your mind works. Sometimes, your mind acts counterproductive to your purpose. This can occur when you want to do something you want but your ego is stopping you, when you place undeserved value on others, let emotion dictate your thinking, lose sight of morals, become too pompous, become conditioned, let time erode significance, misinterpret human interaction or overanalyse.

Self-esteem is more important than any education you can receive. I know some of my best high school friends, some of whom are well educated are in bad depressed states. The common theme is missing self-esteem.

Mindset is greatly affected by habit, belief, environment, superstition, and mental illness. Take superstition for example, which can control people's lives, through the belief that certain numbers, events or objects bring good or bad luck, even though it may not be so.

The only thing we do have control over is our own thoughts and beliefs, if we choose to exercise control.

My Prayer

Dear God,

I don't know what to believe anymore.

I guess the job rejection was the tipping point. I prayed long and hard for a request that meant so much to me. This was the one job I really wanted. I put so much faith and belief into my prayers. I gave it my heart, soul and mind. Upon hearing that I was rejected, I felt shattered and hurt. My faith took a dive. I had put up with so many rejections already, and to miss out again by the slimmest of margins after I had given it so much effort in prayer and practice made it all the worse.

I rarely asked for anything this year. All I really asked for was to know you better. Many times I prayed 'Lord, just show me who you are'. But I have not received a response. I asked 'God, if I am doing something wrong, please let me know'. But I hear nothing. I have asked God for many requests in the past. But they have gone unanswered. It seems like there is no one even listening. I hear stories of other people receiving God's help in good times and times of need. But not I.

The times that my prayers have gone unanswered calls my faith into question. Sure, there have been some prayers answered. However, the things that meant the most to me, the things that I devoted the most time and effort to have eluded me. That is what hurts the most. More than the failed outcomes themselves.

I want to know you are out there God, and that you care about me. I know I am not the best person, but I try to do what is right. I want to know who you are and that you are willing to help. But it is hard to believe when my prayers go unanswered. No matter what happens I will still have some faith (re: The Search for Truth). I want to believe.

Until the true God reveals himself to me I will believe passively and may search for God through alternative means.

As I type this I feel calm and peace spreading through me. I have, to a degree, let go of the hurt and pain associated with the prayers unanswered in the past. I now wait in hope and seek for the true God who loves me and hears me.

God, please answer me.

Update (12/2/10): After another failed interview process and going through a similar process to the one described above, I find myself unsure about religion, not knowing who to turn to or trust. I don't see or hear any answers from God (I accept that a ultimatum may be testing God). I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Update (21/5/10): After discussions with religious and non-religious individuals I have the following points to take away:

• Accept and follow God’s will for our lives (and ask to know God’s will and for His wisdom). "nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou [wilt]." (not in bondage to a religion)
• Follow God's Word in order to change our destiny not the "now" (God cannot be used to fulfil our wishes).
• Release our wants and trust in God (faith). Be patient and seek God wholeheartedly (praising Him).
• Focus on myself. Many of the answers I seek are in me.

The two most important things for me are to 1) know God exists (creation/other people is not enough), and 2) have a relationship with God.

When You Are Feeling Down

I have been very volatile lately. I go from a moment of disarray to absolute ecstasy in the same day. Overall, my average level of satisfaction has probably declined.

I know things have been difficult this year. The thing is I cannot let this turn me away from my purpose. My purpose is what guides me. My purpose is what I live for. I cannot put my enjoyment on hold.

I know is that I can either look back, bemoan what has happened and feel defeated. Or I can rise up, follow my purpose (direction) and go for what I want.

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When you face difficult times like these or when you have free time on your hands it is useful to:

• think back to your purpose;
• meditate and visualise achievement of goals;
• review what you know or have you have learnt;
• write down what you are thinking;
• challenge and question negative thoughts;
• talk to yourself to clear the issues in your head;
• talk to others and reach out to those who might help;
• take a break to allow yourself to refresh and regenerate;
• breathe deeply, relax muscles and meditate;
• walk around and get moving;
• healthy eating, exercise regularly, get enough sleep;
• listen to the sound of waves crashing against the shore or some music;
• sing a song;
• accept uncertainty and accept worst case outcome and take action to improve from it;
• postpone worry to a worry period by writing worries down;
• take action to address the situation or keep busy and distract yourself;
• count your blessings and be thankful for what you have, enjoy the moment.

The Mental Health Council also recommends the following tips for improving wellbeing: taking up a hobby, treating yourself, sharing experiences, being attentive, helping others, thinking positively, expressing yourself and setting personal goals.

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Update (25/1/11):

When in a bad mood, take a step back and think about the situation before that led to it, what is happening now and later, engage in positive appreciative enquiry, and be a man.

By taking a step back and observing the situation, you see what you doing and realise that every negative (and positive) feeling is a direct result of thought.

Decide to welcome your thoughts and worries rather than feeling anxious about them. Dispute your beliefs and risks because these are simply your thoughts. Instead think about what you can do about them. Focus on what you can do now, not on the past or the future.

You may have no control whatsoever over circumstance, but you can be immune to the adverse effects of your thinking about it, once you understand that you think "thoughts," not "reality." Your thoughts, not your circumstances, determine how you feel. An absence of negative thought brings forth a positive feeling.

So Close But Yet So Far

I admit. I have always had difficulties with interviews. This time though I thought it was different. There were two reasons to this.

Firstly, I wanted to prove that I am capable and that I can succeed in interviews. After all, I believe that I have the skills , knowledge and experience for a better position. Secondly, I wanted to prove that the system works. That is the system of faith and conviction, setting targets, winning the next point works. Plus, I combined it with basic practice practice practice, talking to friends and insiders, warm ups, being out of my head, reading and listening to motivational material (e.g. 'if your heart filled with faith then you can't fear', 'I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me').

To me, interviews are an essential life skill. Interviews are all about marketing yourself. To get to the top of the corporate food chain, you have to do this well. In fact, managers must enjoy interviews because they have to go through so many to get where they are. Managers also enjoy their jobs, but that is another topic altogether.

In the end, I came close. I applied for the job. Interviewed very well. Received praise from the interviewers. However, I just missed out by one question. Second place is last place though. I feel that my faith has been weakened. I guess I can be proud of my achievement, but at the same time it hurts to get knocked back when I was so close.

Now, I have to think about my next steps. I have defined my motivation or passion for wanting a better position. I have a vision of where I want to be to motivate me. I will go for the job with the same strong mindset and practice more.

Poetic Words

These are my two favourite poems.

If - Rudyard Kipling

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

http://www.st-george.com/SubSection_Pages/Section_2/articleContent.asp?159

Next Steps

Whatever it is we want to achieve, can be treated as a game or project. For illustration purposes, we can refer to this game as a tennis match.

In tennis, the aim is to attempt to win the point by striking the ball over the net so that the opponent cannot return it. The opponent responds by returning the ball back to us and we make our next move based on whatever shot our opponent fires back at us. Whilst our end goal is to win the match, our sole focus during the match is on playing our next shot. Winning that next point. We cannot concentrate on what our previous shot was or what the later shot might be. All we can focus on now is what we are to do with our current shot to win that next point.

The same goes in the game we are playing in life. Our focus is thinking about what are faced with at this present moment. That is, what we can do now to win that next point. We are focused on what our next steps should be. Whilst we can contemplate the successes or failures of yesterday or the grand vision of tomorrow, these learnings and experiences should be applied now to make our next steps as good as they can be. Our focus now is our next steps.

Direction

I know that my direction today is stronger than what it used to be.

A few days ago, I was walking in the park when someone said to me 'I think there are few people in the world that know where they are going and you are one of them. Congratulations.'

Coincidentally, at that time, I had a strong sense of purpose inside me and I knew where I was heading and what I was going to do.

I discovered one reason behind my conviction after taking to time to pause and examine myself, and in particular, my dissatisfaction with work. I asked myself why did I want to become an economist in the first place. Why not an accountant or an engineer or some other profession where I could be earning significantly more? Why am I spending forty plus hours per week doing something I don't really enjoy? How did it come to this?

I realised that the reason why I wanted to be economist in the first place was because I wanted to experience what it was like to be one, to know what it was like working for government, and do to forecasting work. Initially, I enjoyed it because I was doing what I wanted. Now, I don't enjoy it anymore because I had accomplished all that I wanted from the job (and was getting no respect from work). Now is the time to move on.

The Future

During my sojourn away, I reflected upon civilization and the progress that humans have made. If we think back 100 years, or even just 20, we can see how much things have changed. The scientific and technological progress we have made in this short time is astonishing and demonstrates just how much we are capable of.

I believe that we as humans have barely touched the surface of what is possible. Our knowledge, our way of thinking is still elementary. There is so much possibility that awaits us.

I see a universe of infinite possibilities in front of us as time and space are a temporary result of an infinite number of events.

We have been through the agricultural and software revolutions and are currently in the midst of a software revolution. It is likely that there will be further revolutions to come. What we accept as normal today will be completely different tomorrow. Tomorrow's food, housing and energy may be something that we do not believe to be possible today. We may consume prototype synthetic foods, live in the air, and have access to an energy source at our fingertips no matter where we are.

In a dream, I thought of a possibility that there may be levels of the brain that are yet to be unlocked.

A hundred years ago, we thought we knew it all and yet we have advanced so much. The same is true today. In a century's time, the world is likely to be a completely different place. People will look back, like I did today, and reflect on these times that we currently reside in and how much has changed.

Find Your Purpose And Passion

Your purpose and passion are more important than setting goals.

Find out what your purpose is, something that you believe in and are willing to work on. Purpose allows you to wake up knowing that you are moving in the right direction towards something important to you.  Passion makes you jump out of bed before the alarm clock goes off feeling alive and excited. It removes the fear of failure and regrets that you may have because you are doing what you love.

Your purpose and passion gives you energy and focus that empowers you to set goals and achieve them. Your passion creates a burning desire every minute of every day of your precious life.

To help you get some ideas about your passion, think about 5 people you respect who live the life you want to live and what their qualities are. This includes all the highs and lows of the process they went through and whether it gets you excited over the long term, not just the end result. At the same time be realistic with your own ability, your opportunities today, and the odds of success. Think about what you are good at, what you love to do that makes you happy and excited (if there is no such thing as failure), what is your dream life, what you read and talk about (including images and sayings). Research it further, talk to people who are doing it and try it out for a month.

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.

Understand the purpose behind what you are doing. For example, you need to know why are you putting in the effort to getting good math grades or why are you working 50 hour weeks in your job. Unless you know your purpose, you will be wasting your life doing something you don't want.  

Don't go looking for a huge passionate pursuit, you'll seldom find it by thinking about it. Once you're doing something you love doing, voila! You might have found your passion.

The Search for Truth

Why do I believe in God? What should I believe in? I have often asked myself these questions. It comes down to two things.

Firstly, it is better to believe than not to believe because when our lives are over there is no benefit in not believing (there is a future to look forward to after death). A fundamental motivation behind faith is that it holds the promise of everlasting life. Secondly, the faith I choose must be based on the premise that the majority of the world's population at any one time can hear and choose to believe if they so wish. As such the faith must have existed from the beginning of time and is spread across the entire world.

From this analysis, only two faiths meet the above criteria, Christianity and Islam. And that is what I believe in.

Christian and Islamic roots trace back to since the start of human history. Both religions share common beliefs and the twin golden commandments of the paramount importance of loving God and loving the neighbour. In every country across the world at least 1% of the population believe in either Christianity or Islam (and in most countries at least 5%). Whereas, in some countries less than 0.1% of the population believe in Buddhism, Hinduism, and other religions combined making these faiths insignificant.

Third, I believe that God would not inflict large scale death on his people. None of the ten largest natural disasters took place in a country which is predominantly Christian (half of Haitians are voodoo).

Fourth, I see the evolution of scientific progress as empirically supporting the existence of God as it shows that there is so much that humans are yet to know (re: The Future).

Fifth, Jesus has always been the last point of call for me.  When I don't have anything or anyone else to trust, I turn to Jesus. In times of distress and darkness, I cry out to Jesus.

I am of the opinion that we can put our trust in God based on the evidence to support the teachings of Biblical scripture and fulfilled prophecies. This being said, it is almost impossible to verify the accuracy of accounts in the scripture. The final conviction comes from faith.

When you get proof, you lose faith. You will ask question until you run out of questions. Will I be rich? When will I die? What if you knew what will happen tomorrow? Many of our weaknesses could be the best thing that happened. The key ingredient is faith.  

Interests and Ponderings

I have always been interested in how things work.

When I was younger, I liked to think about how machines work and how the human body functions.

As I grew older I became fascinated with the acquisition of knowledge, any form of knowledge. I became interested in science, economics and occupations.

Later on, I had an interest in exploring how people operate, the way they think, and the relationships they form.

More recently, I have become interested in life, the brevity of life, and the various stages of life.

As life goes on, so too my interests evolve.

Enjoy the Moment

My t-shirt drenched in sweat stuck against my chest. I am in a foreign alleyway, the fluorescent lights of the florist gleaming against my tired eyes. It has been a long day. The florist seems to take hours bundling the flowers we ordered. I start to become irritated and impatient when I think to myself that despite the situation, this moment is here to be enjoyed. I begin to grasp this is the only moment there is. At this very moment the past and the future are irrelevant. As I comprehend this, I am filled with a sense of overwhelming peace.

Each day, each moment is precious. Enjoy each day as it comes. Enjoy each moment for what it is, good or bad. The moment will pass. Now is the only moment there is. Capture it while you can.

Who knows whether I will return to the florist in the future. Now is the only time I have to enjoy it.

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I have seen that youth passes quickly. I didn't make the most of my youth but I know now that I should make the most of my remaining days. I have to capture the moment now. Also, I have to use every moment I have to be good and do good (and not to be bad to anyone).

Be The Best

There are key attributes to become the best or succeed in any field. Knowledge, time, people and focus.

Knowledge is knowing all there is to know about how to become the best. This could include talking to experts, reading books, or developing the right mindset and diet to become the best. It is not enough to just do your best or work hard; you must know what to work on.

Time is practice. This is putting in the hours in applying the knowledge in working towards your goals. Great accomplishment is typically the result of years of passion and dedication, and not something that flows naturally from a gift. The right approach combined with the passionate hours of practice will deliver the results.

People are those around you. You cannot achieve anything big by yourself. You need to get out and connect with people who are trained in your field, ask questions and learn.

Gates and Buffett said that focus is the number one thing to succeed. Focus by eliminating distractions.

Keep in mind other attributes. Have passion for what you do to such a level where you would want to pay to do it, work hard, be damn good through continual practice, focus on one thing, push away shyness and self doubt, serve others, have an idea, and persist through failure, criticism and rejection.

Revisiting Times Past

I was trawling through old photographs. These activities always bring back old memories. Reminding me of times gone. Of people I have not seen for years... years. Of places wandered. Memories of the air, the people, the laughter, the celebration, the past come flooding back. Joyous times and painful flashbacks, tinged with lingering. Reminiscences. Still moments captured in time.

Nickelback's Photograph playing in the background. So too When You Were Young by The Killers.

How quickly does time pass? Fly by. You look back. Yet, so quickly time passes. You can relive those days. But you know better than to dwell on the past. As they say, the past is history, the future is a mystery, the present is a gift, that is why it is called a present.

Life is about

relationships

health

happiness

memories

God.

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These are the most important things in life.

Relationships with people who are close to you is what is most important. I realised that family is most important when I thought that my mother went missing. Nothing else mattered. I have the fight inside me, it's just sometimes suppressed. This is something worth fighting for. Relationships are key, built by being good to everyone and not too serious or needy, accepting there are both good and bad people, and associating with those who you want to be.

It is often said that without health, there is nothing else. Many people do not take care of their health. Two thirds of Australians are overweight or obese.

Happiness is connected to one's self worth.

God is connected to one's life purpose.

Healthy Living

Some every day steps for a healthy life:

• Take 3 deep breathes of fresh air and focus on your body
• Drink at least 2 litres of water and green tea
• Take in morning sunlight for at least 15 minutes and look up
• Get 8 to 9 hours of sleep
• Walk briskly or exercise for at least 60 minutes
• Do a basic strength training workout
• Eat whole foods 
• Avoid smoking

Positive eating habits include:

• Eat foods with higher moisture levels, including foods that are boiled, steamed, or stewed
• Have 5 or more servings of vegetables each day and consume less meat
• Reduce baked, fried, toasted, crunchy, barbecued, roasted, processed foods as well as butter, coffee, soft drinks, emulsifiers, and foods high in animal fat, which tend to be high in AGEs and are linked to aging and bad health
• Minimise consumption of salt and sugar

These steps help if you are in need of a lift or feel stressed:

• Talk to supportive people
• Write down thoughts and feelings
• Disconnect
• Appreciate
• Stay positive

To increase longevity:

• A study of middle aged people found that the most powerful predictors of staying alive from the most to least powerful are social integration (how much you interact with people each day), close relationships, quit smoking and boozing, flu vaccine, cardiac rehab, exercise, being lean (as opposed to overweight), hypertension prescription, clean air [1]. 
• A major factor in longevity is the number of face to face interactions you have along with having at least 3 stable relationships, with women usually prioritising in person relationships. 
• Walk at a speed of at least 5km/hour and jog
• Strong grip strength and high push up ability
• Reduce calorie consumption
• Maintain a healthy BMI of between 18.5 to 25 or a BMI under 30 and waist under 90cm (for more muscular and fit people)
• Eat less red meat and more fish and nuts
• Happy marriage with more children
• Keep active and interested, such as singing with others
• Avoid bacteria, falls and bites
• Have an optimistic outlook

The Blue Zones identified nine common factors that increase longevity:

• Move naturally: The world’s longest-lived people don’t pump iron or run marathons. Instead, their environments nudge them into moving without thinking about it.
• A sense of purpose and direction: Why do you wake up in the morning? Knowing your sense of purpose is worth up to seven years of extra life expectancy. Be the person who has that energy and spark about them. Note that your purpose is what you want it to be, it can be doing as little as possible and not caring about anything or anyone.
• Down shift: Stress leads to chronic inflammation, associated with every major age-related disease. The world’s longest-lived people have routines to shed that stress.
• 80 percent full: “Hara hachi bu” – the Okinawans say this mantra before meals as a reminder to stop eating when their stomachs are 80 percent full.
• Plant focused meals: The cornerstone of most centenarian diets? Beans. They typically eat meat—mostly pork—only five times per month.
• Moderate drinking: Moderate drinkers outlive non-drinkers, especially if they share those drinks with friends.
• Belong to a faith: Attending faith-based services four times per month – no matter the denomination – adds up to 14 years of life expectancy.
• Loved Ones First: Centenarians put their families first. They keep aging parents and grandparents nearby, commit to a life partner and invest in their children.
• Right Tribe: They world’s longest lived people chose or were born into social circles that support healthy behaviors.
• Additional things that can help: A positive attitude, small portions, exercise, faith, a loving family and socialising, lower oxidative stress, more green space [5]

Researchers at the University of Cambridge in England followed 20,000 middle-aged men and women in England for 11 years and found that nonsmokers with the healthiest eating and exercise habits at the outset had a 14-year-life-expectancy edge over the people with the worst habits

Researchers at the Pacific Health Research Institute in Hawaii who followed 5,820 Japanese American men for 40 years found those who avoided risk factors such as obesity, heavy drinking, smoking and high blood pressure in middle age had a 69% chance of living to be 85, versus just 22% for men with six or more risk factors. [2]

People who make it to 100 tend to have staved off serious disability until well into their 90s, either by avoiding disease or by limiting its consequences.

Regular exercisers generally live five to seven years longer than inactive people.

A lack of iron is probably one major reason that being vegetarian is healthy for you. There was a very good study looking at the intake of red meat and heart disease in Leiden in the Netherlands: in regions where people didn't eat red meat, those populations had half the rate of heart attack and stroke compared to the populations that did eat red meat. This is one important reason why women live longer than men - women have an advantage over men in terms of cardiovascular disease, like heart attack and stroke [3].

Nutrition and medical researchers have identified persistent inflammation as one of the worst offenders in aging, as its factors predict the risk of virtually all chronic diseases. And since chronic diseases cause the majority of early deaths, eating a diet that minimizes inflammation and the risk of chronic disease is key to increasing longevity and quality of life. 

It advises consuming more nutrient- and fiber-rich fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes and less fatty meat, high-fat dairy, and refined, processed foods. An eating guide emphasises the importance of consuming nutrient-dense foods, sufficient fluid intake, and specific recommendations for the basic food groups. This includes brightly colored vegetables, deep-colored fruits, lean proteins, and healthy types of fat. A diet that adheres to these guidelines will help lower the risk of chronic disease yet provide plenty of health-protective nutrients. 

The New England Centenarian Study at the Boston University School of Medicine is the largest, most comprehensive study of centenarians and their families. One goal of this study is to observe lifestyle factors that study subjects have in common to try to determine the “secrets” of a long and healthy life. To date, no specific foods have been noted, but the study has shown that almost all people who reach the age of 100 are lean, particularly men [4].

The Cold Hard Truth

There are many people who say they deserve better in life (myself included). They complain about their lot. They say things like I should be this, that, or the other. They bicker.

Deserving to be better means nothing. Millions upon millions of people deserve better.

You can give as many reasons or excuses as you like about why your life should be better. You can whine until the cows come home. The truth is it don't mean jack.

The proof is in the pudding. The proof is your results. What you have to show.

It takes action. Putting in the hard yards. Making it happen. Now.

It's all up to you. The only thing you are assured of changing is yourself.

Be that person who delivers not just talks.

Self Help

The self help genre contains some gems of wisdom.

It teaches you about the possibilities open to you:
Change your life by taking responsibility for it and changing your thoughts. Achieve your dreams by setting goals. Do what you love and are motivated to do and you will be happy. Keep in mind the bigger perspective. Appreciate yourself and transform yourself for the better.

In terms of business, it provides some useful advice:
Strong psychology - have the right mindset, be willing to take risks and make mistakes
Networks, alliances and mentors - its not what you know but who you know
Plan - know what you want and what is important, develop business structure and systems
Persistence, commitment - surpasses talent and genius, concentrate on what you can do and improve on
Marketing - start simple, create a positive experience, understand target market

Also, some nice tidbits:
It takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice over many years to become a master. It takes 1 book a week for 5 years to become an expert. A confident impression in the first 3 seconds can make all the difference for job interviews and dates.

Steps to Success

I asked myself what would I do if I were mentoring myself. What would I tell myself? It's easy for people to advise friends, yet when it comes to themselves they have trouble. It is useful to think about what you would say if you were giving yourself advice, addressing yourself using your first name.

1. Define a goal or focus that genuinely motivates you. Set small targets that lead to the goal. The targets must be primarily based on your own actions and they must be SMART. Identify the few critical tasks that contribute the most to your goal and scheduling them with very short and clear deadlines, focusing on one thing each day. Be clear about the benefits of achieving your goal and the costs of inaction.

2. Set up a weekly system. Create a regimen and put in habits that allow you to work on the tasks on autopilot. Practice as close to the real challenge as possible. Focus on the process, growing and getting better, not on intelligence or ability. Put in your best effort for the target. Team up with supportive people and coaches who have completed the target or experts who are working on the target. Copy people who are the best at the target. Take advice from people who have achieved what you want and are living the life you want.

3. Fast feedback. Evaluate your results using metrics. Ask for negative feedback. Document what you did well, what you did not do well, what you learnt, and what you can improve on. Review your targets and be open to change. Reward yourself after achieving the target to anchor the positive feeling and inspire more, although you need to also keep your emotions in check.

4. Word hard and persist at it. You have to make mistakes, and try again, without even flinching. Repeat what you did well and work on what you can improve. It will take knowledge and time. Get rid of obstacles and distractions and don't waste time. Keep motivating yourself by enjoying the process and being positive, believing, reinforcing and visualising the goal until the learning and behaviour becomes unconscious and part of your life.

Thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become habits. Habits become reality.

The growth you achieve will depend on how determined and committed you are in achieving these targets. It is up to you to achieve your targets and the goal will come. This template helps [1].

You don't need a life coach. Find out what area you want to improve on. Work on that area and find experts to support you.

The End of Philosophy

Sure, philosophy promotes intellectual thinking and stimulates the brain, but in many cases it serves no real purpose.

There are many questions where no answers will ever be found, and even if they are, serve no purpose to you.

Before spending time on philosophical reasoning or questioning, ask yourself if you can define it or act upon it. If not, then forget about it and you will be on your way to becoming a top performer.

But What Is Life?

But what is life
That one should spend one day, one week, one month, one year ruing, regretting, missing
That one answer to a calling he did not call for
That one does not choose, but is chosen for a purpose not agreeable to him
But in a blink, it is gone

The Four Pillars of Likable Communication

It has taken me years to come up with the four pillars of likable communication. The essential building blocks of likable communication. I call them the 4 C's. Confidence. Consideration. Contribution. Clarity.

1. Confident / bold / not nervous / relax
2. Consideration / plan / structure / think quick
3. Contribute / participate
4. Clear / specific / volume / voice

Other tenets of likable communication can include:

• good listening, honesty, equality, freedom, acceptance, empathy, humour, tentativeness, positive emotionality, politeness
  
• enthusiasm, impressions, engaging, being personal, body language, building rapport, fitting in, showing genuine interest, smiling, appreciation, professionalism, being natural, motivation, creativity, presentation
• succinctness, conciseness, knowing what to say, knowing who to say it to, consistency, articulation, asking, listening, speaking speed, pausing
  

Keys to Success

Action

Know your purpose and intended result. Do is the highest level of commitment. Plan for it. Ask for feedback on exactly what to improve on. Be prepared to win and be ready to take risks to achieve it. Celebrate successes.

Training

Train for over 10,000 hours, put in a tremendous amount of focused effort exerted over many years. Train on the basics, you can never overdrill on the basics. Repeat until ingrained. Watch videos of leaders in the field in the morning. The best in the field are highly intelligent and never stop working, with many working 60-65 hour weeks, having little time for anything else. The best sports players get there because of athleticism, work ethic, and peer pressure.

Persistence

Be hungry. Ask 7 times for exactly what you want. Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Add value. Be optimistic and have a positive attitude. Be disciplined and control your impluses. Observe the situation. Learn from failure. Never waste time lamenting or blaming. Never be aggressive or desperate. Rejection is never personal, separate objects around you from your identity.

Network
Build networks with successful people. Meet up with them and read their stories. Be outgoing. Be open to new ideas. Be part of a great team with a shared vision and help each other. Be loyal to each other and show appreciation. Match your message to the moment. Be in control of who is your team and be open to changing the people in your team. You become an average of the people you spend the most time with. Find mentors, you need someone who has been there to show you the ropes and make the activity fun.

Mastery

Commitment. Doing what you said after the excitement has worn off. Knowing who you are are keep improving your strengths. Know what you are suited to genetically. Commit to excellence and quality. Intensity, 100%. Repetition. Frequency. Innovation. Being elite takes genius, accumulation of fine distinguishing features, unique style, a compulsive obsession, demanding resources, and leaving a legacy or body of work.

Believing
Believing in yourself and a vision for the future is important. Believe that you are a winner and that you are exceptional. Believe that what you have done is not enough. Believing brings a sense of assurance as well as joy and peace even through trial and tribulation. Present with power and full belief.

Questioning
Question everything. Question your views, your ideas, and what you were brought up to believe. Question your mind, your fears. Question the origins of civilisation and systems, scientific fact, the media. Question morals, ethics, norms. Even question this notion. Never stop adapting.

[1] [2]

Life is Not Fair

I wondered what I should title this entry. The horror. Tragedy. I chose this title because it reflects life, the ups and downs, the highs and lows.

If I said times were tough before, they do not compare to how I felt this week.

This week I felt the most sadness I had experienced in over two years. I was close to tears, but somehow I did not cry. I felt a whole raft of emotions I had not felt for a long time. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Depression. Nothingness. Humiliation. Gone were the happiness and joy I had become accustomed to feeling.

Thoughts rushed through my head. Yet at the same time, thoughts could not be summoned.

A whole series of unfortunate, or some might say unlucky, events conspired, where I missed out on promotion, failed a job interview, fined a large sum of money, lost a lot on the business, suffered computer problems, rejected by others, fell ill, and attacked by vandals amongst other things.

The events may not seem significant. However, they meant a lot to me - it meant so much and thus it hurt so much.

I know these events may seem very minor to some people. I have a friend suffering from a serious illness and I can only sympathise with what he is going through.

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Life is harsh. It is a cruel world. It rewards those who put in the hard yards and get lucky.

For many people around the world, their reality composes of living from day to day. It starts at conception, where an ovarian lottery determines who you are born to and where you are born. The country you are born in and the family you are born into strongly influences your chances in life. This lottery at birth influences your habits, education, wealth, health, and friends. It is made more difficult for people who are ugly, disabled, or of a race that does not fit in.

There are things you can change. You can work hard to lose weight, get educated, etc. However, there are many things that are out of your control. As an example, it is extremely difficult for a child born to a poor family in a poor country to become wealthy.

Take sex as another example. Life is harder being a man. There are no easy ways to have sex on a consistent basis, unless you have fame, money, status, looks or a strong social circle. For most men, it is hard work where the failure rate is very high. Not every woman will like you and many women are fickle.

One must take responsibility. Most people feel their predicament is someone else's fault. Try not to think like that. Understand that opportunity does not come without hard work. Demonstrate passion, enthusiasm, expertise, network in your areas of interest, do the best in the field you are in, and build reputation in your field.

I also reflect upon the brevity of life. How it becomes harder when you are older. How it is over before you know it. As the years pass by, it becomes harder to achieve everything I desire to do, see, and be. I know that this is a limiting belief, but it is also true.

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I must move on from what has happened. I must sit down by myself and with others and work through the issues I am facing. Importantly, I must realise that life is not fair. Personally, I have to do the best I can do, be the best I can be, control what I can control, and let everything else run its course. It may not turn out the way I want. It may not go well. At least I can say that I am doing the best I can do, being the best I can be, and going for it.

Go For It

I have talked at length about taking action. However, this deserves a topic of it's own.

Stop thinking and dreaming. Just do it.

It doesn't matter if you thinking of starting a business, spending an year travelling across Europe, recording some disco tracks, or talking to that girl across the room.

Yes, knowledge, skills, planning, people, money, and identifying opportunities all help. However important these are, you must go for it to make it possible.

You do it for the sake of action, for the sake of experience, for the reason and reinforcement that you are the person who goes for what he or she wants, unashamedly, and with passion, never giving in, and you will achieve all the success you've ever desired, and more.

Who I Am

Every decision you make -
Every decision -
Is not a decision about what to do.
It's a decision about who you are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.

- Neale Donald Walsch

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Who am I? What is my purpose? [2019 update]

We are commonly identified by the role we live out: student, mother, son, friend, profession. We find our life, worth, and purpose in these roles. However, this is not how we were meant to live. You should dissociated with these labels. This identity is temporary and not who you fundamentally are. Your identity is defined by who you perceive yourself as your core. Start by asking what are 3 words that describe who you are and asking yourself what are the traits that have remained the same over your life. Your family and friends may contribute their opinion, but in the end you decide.

Identity is critical for maintaining a solid sense of self. It’s the glue that holds us together, even in the most discombobulating of circumstances.

So who am I?

I am inquisitive (curious, open minded, observant, analytical), ambitious (achievement orientated, accomplished). I aim to further cultivate my identity around positivity, confidence and dominance. 

After these traits, I am also healthy, intelligent, indifferent, introspective, and just. My sister describes me as ambitious, loyal, reflective (mysterious, creative and exploratory).

My purpose is connected with my vision board and my goals for the future.

In 2009, I saw myself as happy, self assured, positive, confident, ambitious and just. I projected this for myself, but while I see myself as ambitious and just I don't believe I was self assured and positive at the time. (re: Big Picture). My purpose was to enjoy my life and make a difference (re: Goals). It has now changed a little.

What is your true purpose in life? Is it for fulfilment, enjoyment, pleasure, worship, meaning, giving? It could be a mix of these. What is important is realising what it is and following it.

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I only do what I would do. I make my decisions based on what makes me happy and what makes me feel good. I have amazing goals, a great life, nothing anyone does or says is going to affect me at all. I don't need anybody or anything, I can be complete on my own.

The key to becoming amazing is to remember who you are. Believe in yourself. Be confident and control your reality.

A real Man (or Woman) is a guy living his purpose, his passion, doing what he knows to be right and following his path. He doesn't care what other people make of his journey as it's his journey. He's living his life on his journey and you can either be part of that or not.

Analysis of Feelings

I have a scientific interest in feelings. Though not limited to simple psychology. I am interested in deconstructing feelings into simple states. I observe people and the amount of time they spend in each state. Whether they control the state they are in (e.g. through meditation) or whether the state is influenced by external factors (e.g. sudden reactive impulses).

A feeling can be described as a conscious subjective experience of emotion. Each perception or emotion a being experiences is a result of many states interacting, many of them subconsciously.

Individuals have differing perceptions in response to each individual stimuli. Be it analytically or emotionally based. The mind constantly shapes these states accordingly to preexisting nature, experience, reaction, or external factors (such as cirumstance) giving rise to certain disposition or behaviour.

Circumstance may alter an individual's state and resulting behaviour. An office job, for example, may confine an individual to a structured set of behaviours. A motor vehicle fine or a win in a game of blackjack, may affect an individual's emotion in differing manners. The effect of the circumstance and its duration varies from person to person and depends on an individual's capacity to deal with circumstance. Individuals may, for example, learn from the circumstance and repeatedly react in a way to alter the state they are in.

Feelings can, to a large extent, be controlled. Individuals are free to (or have the capacity to) control how they view outcomes. When people start to understand this principle, they start to control their reality.

Nervous Excitement

Why should I get nervous?
It's not like the outcome matters to me.
Even if it did, being nervous would not help.
What matters is doing everything I can to make my dreams, my goals, a reality.

Anatomy of Happiness

Sometimes I feel happiness over nothing in particular. These moments of sheer happiness occur regardless of the situation I im in. I usually feel like this before I go to sleep, but today I felt it when I woke up all the way to work. I thought it was useful to jot down some thoughts I had on how I was able to generate this feeling of contentment, this happiness. After all, happiness is a wonderful feeling.

Think of the positive.
Let positive thoughts build upon positive thoughts.
Smile and tap into positive states.
Relax.
Enjoy each breath.
Feel appreciation.
Give appreciation.
Love.
Be content.
Feel better and better.
Overwhelm mind, body, and soul with joy.

Work Tips

A successful career has far more to do with who you know, being in the right place at the right time, and recognising opportunity.

It's not what you did that matters. It's how you convey it to others.

• Do your work well - understand your and your manager's tasks and objectives, outperform your and your manager's objectives, seek feedback and learn from it, do what you commit to, demonstrate clear and considered work, generate results
• Build relationships - listen, build trust and respect, build relationships across the board, find people smarter than you, raise your manager's status, work as a team, be aware of the feelings and goals of others, ask what others are trying to accomplish and how you can help, ask for help and appreciate it, give credit to others
• Plan and organise - plan your tasks by allocating time and resources, identify the highest priorities, plan and prioritise your day, prepare for meetings, be flexible, contribute
• Take initative - be proactive, volunteer for projects, mentally challenge everything, raise issues, solve problems and implement solutions, take responsibility, clarify assumptions, convey your perspective
• Keep informed - understand the environment, know the business and issues, develop and apply knowledge, find suitable mentors
• Market yourself - be visible, emphasize strengths, differentiate yourself
• Right attitude - enjoy work, have a passion, be loyal, be available
• Ask yourself - can you picture yourself in the position of the person above you? If not, leave.

Internal Struggle

This time. Sometimes.

It always creeps up.

I fight a battle against myself. An internal battle. Mind wars. It is a struggle. Never perfected. Opening up in public. Patience. Self belief. Ambition. These are qualities that are not inbred in me. Instead, they must be cultivated.

I struggle against my lack of energy. I struggle against fear of failure. I struggle with the golden rule. To love others as myself. I don't love myself enough. I don't love others enough. I feel inadequate sometimes. I place some people ahead of others. I am impatient far too often. Vicious, destructive, painful thoughts. Thoughts which don't help me or others at all.

I tell myself constantly to know and accept myself. I tell myself to treat everyone as a volunteer. I tell myself to be indifferent to negativity, to not care so much. I remind myself of motivational quotes. I push myself to go for growth.

Yet, always, it is difficult.

Nothing in Particular

Some of the best discourse I have heard are about trivial matters. Whilst non-substantive, they can provoke thought.

• Society's increasing insensitivity towards extremes. 
• Poetry's subtle germination of unrelated visualisations.
• Predisposed human nature such as self-bias and risk aversion. 
• The rise of misguided political correctness. 
• The beauty of nature exhibited on a quiet dusk sky. 
• Questioning why such as why is there a tree or why the lack of divine happenings in recent history. 
• Food being disaggregated into ever-smaller nutritional components to design for an individual's genetic makeup. 
• The never ending quest to break previously set records.
• Rise of political correctness
• Struggles of travel (starving at time, unhealthy meals, waking up early, crappy tourist sites, carrying luggage around)
• Frequencies in the body that may lead to illness, softening in the body of hard areas